Crazy study habit

I went to starbucks this morning to grab some coffee and bread for breakfast after dropping off my bheb at work... I look around and ask the barista if they have a wifi connection and she said i need to pay for it so I went to starbucks site and registered. I was thinking about reviewing there since it's a little quiet and it feels different so time pass by after 1 and half hour of sitting there i didn't accomplish anything so i decided to go to a library nearby which is my first plan anyway. So Ive been here @ the library around 10: 30 am. and now it's already 12:03 pm.

Did i study for the past hour and half? nope. i can't focus. everytime i try to start some ideas go to mind like, Oh im going to see this site, oh im going to check my facebook again, oh i forgot to buy a gift for this person, go window shopping online... now its almost time to eat then i need to go grab something to eat coz i can't simply focus with my stomach empty!

I just can't focus. :-( psychological?? same college days study habits. i can't study without cleaning up my room doing laundry or doing some crafts by the time i feel ready its almost time to sleep or im already too tired to study...

are you experiencing the same thing? i just need to push myself to sit and start doing it!!! Maybe I'm just too anxious that I'm afraid to start... it's really crazy and waste of time. Now instead of starting off with my book here I am blogging my thoughts and going gaga with everything!

Oh well... I know I'm going crazy...

So much to be thankful for!

Life is really good even everything is not yet perfect I'm still thankful about a lot of stuff. I don't have everything I want in the world but at least it motivates me to do my best to get what I want and specially what I need...

I'm thankful that I have my family even though I'm so far away from them I can still feel the love and care... to my dearest relatives here that's been supporting me all the time! My few but trusted friends... :-) co-workers that turned out to be a family and instant sister lol. My big bro and his family that helped me a lot and makes me feel important to their lives... My online friends that I have never talked to in person before but thanks to facebook i get to know them and actually get close to them in some way... My bheb for making me feel happy, sad, excited, mad, feel special and most importantly feel loved :-)

Thanksgiving is days away so I'm taking this oppurtunity to thank God for everything that he has given me and for everything that makes my life great.

I definitely don't have a perfect life but i really appreciate everything that I have and for who I have become...

I'm still fulfilling my plans and taking one step at a time.I'll get at the top of my dreams someday.. I just have to live each day and make it happen :-) like everyone does.

Oh well, feeling good today so might as well blog it.

I really need to update my blog everyday like I used to... a perfect output of my everyday life...

Drama

yep it's been a whillllllllllllllleeeee since i wrote a blog.. omg. I used to love writing blogs like everyday and it helped me get through each day.

Today i really needed an output for everything that's going on. I'm a very happy person and things like sadness and depression doesn't always bother me because i can always make myself happy in any way (that sounded really weird). It's not like im crazy or whatever lol.

So this is one of those days that hits me real hard and make me feel like "hey, I'm ALONE." I realized that yes I'm really alone. Don't get me wrong i appreciate my relatives, brother, cousins and Aunt who's helping me out right now and super appreciate it...

But my MOM and lil bro... my friends back home... damn i miss those times. I miss how a heartbreak can be easily get over with. You won't feel that much pain because your friends are there to tap your back and say "Everything's gonna be alright" as if they know exactly what to say to make you feel better...

I got few real friends out here and my cousins that i could talk. My boyfriend is inlove with his xbox so forget about it.

Life is tough now but I can't stop right now. I can't stop loving. I can't stop believing and I can't stop hoping that everything's gonna be alright...

So far... I got my driving license and aiming for a car. One step at a time...

My side of story... PART 3

It took me a while to make the third part since I was too busy working and all other stuffs that's going on with my life...

So this new guy treated me nicely and we agreed that we'll just remain friends and just be happy. and I BELIEVED HIM. So i was going out with my friends, going out to movies and such and this guy made me believe it was just okay but after I leave the house, he cries in front of my cousins and make it look like he's the poor one left behind...

I was shocked one evening I went home from movies and my cousin in law approached me about how I'm treating him, and I was like, huh? what are you talking about? she said he cried when he found out I went with the movies with a guy friend back then.. OH COME ON. REALLY? dude you just knew me for a 2 weeks.. seriously? I got really annoyed with all the BS that's going on.

Another Chance. After not talking to him for a day he started to approach me again and here I go again believe and trust him like nothing happened. Made chores for me even if I didnt asked him to do so.. pretty good huh?

I wake up early to do all the morning household chores so i can sleep and well relaxed at night not realizing he's pretty smart to do the night shift dishes to make it look he did all the work in the house. Nice one. I hope i realized that sooner.

He asked me on the movie then made me paid for it. Good job. That was not supposed to be a big deal then after the movie got mad at me or acted up for some reason can't remember what then throw the money in the floor telling me that the payment for what i spent in the movie. Wow. You are very nice. I hate when you make favors for people then throw it back in your face just to make it look like they don't owe you anything. What if i don't have money that night and actually went out with him. Damn that would be embarrassing. DON"T ASKED ANYBODY OUT IF YOU CAN"T TAKE CARE OF IT. LET THEM ASKED YOU OUT INSTEAD.

but he was still the angel for them of course. He can really fool you with the innocent face.

a lot of lies went on and on. I was trying to make him realize he can be himself and just tell me the truth about everything that happened to him in the past anyway I don't really like making friends or getting close to someone who can't be themselves. If you don't have money, car or anything tell me you don't have one because you didn't worked and looked out for ur kids not because ur Ex spent all ur money and put you in a big debt. When in fact she was the one who's working afterall and paying all your bills. That's her car and not urs. How can you even pretend and lie in my face and think that im stupid not to figure out what's going on?

Well, it hurts that I have trusted you and tried to help you be urself and not be someone else you think you are.

Cousin in law and everybody pitty him from all the drama he got in the past and what's happening with us.She wants me for him and I simply don't like him but my big fault was fool around and make jokes about his feelings. How can you love a person who doesn't even love himself.

I was already inlove with someone before I met him and it was hard to shift the feelings but i tried and slowly giving him chances but he made it even harder when i finally saw all the bad sides. Temper tantrums. Attitudes in inappropriate places where you're supposed to have fun. Definitely a turnoff.

I was really the bad girl. Maybe I was or should i say I am. My biggest fault was telling him there's nothing more i can give but staying the same person I am to him everyday. Like you're not trying to make him fall but you have no choice but to be nice because he was doing favors and you feel guilty about it? That was my fault. I was weak.

Then cousin in law made a Big deal out of it. Then all the issues came out one by one... I didn't even imagined all those stuffs really mattered. But I was very surprised with the outburst of feelings she kept many months ago...

My side of story... PART 2

It all started when this "GUY" moved in my cousin's house let's name him M. He's not related to my cousin in law but since she love adopting people he adopted him coz he got a lot of troubles back where he belong. M's brother live for a couple of weeks first but moved out as soon as he got a job in NJ and mousse went into the scene after we met at his bro's birthday party...

Bare with me coz i want as much details as I could give so to lessen confusion in my story.

M was really nice and started to court and all that stuff. I was pretty much happy to have him around at the moment coz he reminds me of the ex pretty much.

All was good... Like maybe this guy could really be the one since we have the same culture and no more further adjustments on that part... I showed kindness and sweetness in return of all the efforts. Preparing breakfast, cooking lunch and even help me out with my laundry lol. As time goes by little by little I saw the bad side...

Very jealous. Assuming and had a very suspicious personality like all of his statements and stories are very inconsistent... so i decided to talk to him about it and actually we agreed to just remain friends but he asked me to be the same and still be sweet so it wasnt a problem to me and i said that's fine...


to be continued...

My side of story... PART 1

there's always two sides of every story. This is my version.

Part 1...

I came here in US without any idea what am I getting myself into I just know i needed to work for a lil bit til the airforce gets me. I came here and got into a lot of issues with my relatives and I just don't want to be into any trouble and I chose what i thought was the best for me so I chose to live with my cousin and cousin in law instead of living with my closest relatives.

I was literally amazed how great she was towards me. As in i can't believe there's a kind of person like that very giving and very helpful and pretty much spoiled me with things and attention and helped me the best way she could. I was very thankful and always prayed that God may shower her endless blessings.

I'm pretty much a really bad Girl like i did a lot of stuffs, lots of adventures when I was still in the philippines then I changed myself when I got here. Stopped smoking, stayed home for months and just work work work and shop til i drop.

That was my problem. Shopping. pretty much got addicted to it and didn't think about the money i was spending. The best part was i bought all the gadgets that I wanted with all the hardwork. Payed for my Exams on my own and still sends money to my Mom.

Happy go lucky but really worked hard for the money.

Till she told people i needed to give some rent since I can already shop and im done paying my exams and review stuffs. Well she have a point but i got upset for not telling me first about it and rather told my friends first. It's like making me look bad.

But that was the past we talked about it and got over it. Pretty much she didn't asked for much and I gave her what she asked for and sometimes more than that.

Then time came that I met new friends. Went out a lot of times but still haven't forgotten my chores at home. Babysitting some cleaning but i don't really cook so i have a excuse for that.

Till things get really complicated....

Addicted to facebook :-)

what makes my life everyday? FACEBOOK.

i don't even know why... maybe because it's the easiest way to get communication to my friends back in the philippines or simply because it's fun to actually have one place where you can reach your friends better than friendster can do. I don't even play any games on facebook.

Friendster got lots of spam which sometimes or most of the time comes from viruses and not even the real person sending you those nasty comments even messages. I don't know why until now they haven't fixed it yet.

Even myspace is too crowded. lots of people invite you just for them to have lots of friend counts and asks you to make fan signs for them. Really? do i even know you??

Lots of those glitter graphics thing which i hate the most. It's not that im being mean but seriously do you really have to put super big comment signs on my page just to say ur dropping by? I appreciate the effort but a simple "hi" or how are you? will be much appreciated ^_^

Especially, if you hate somebody so much does it really satisfy you to post vulgar words and post it 5 times not even sure if ur enemy will read it or you just seek attention. Whatever ur reasons are. Stop hating and don't use vulgar words coz we can see 9 years old kids or even younger who does have friendster or whatever accounts which is really alarming.

In facebook, there's no viruses (not that i know of) and no fancy profiles that slows down ur computer..

Anyways. just my thought for today. hahah too much talking.

When You expect it to be good it turns out to be the opposite.

Okay pretty much same shit everyday... I watched Harry Potter today and it wasn't what I expected. I don't wanna spoil it or what but really???? Dumbledore died just like that? oh well. I hope he'll be alive on the next one and it was just a planned death or maybe he just ordered snape to do that since he never even fought for himself. Maybe it was part of the plan?

I watched all the harry potter but i totally don't remember everything or even the right order from the first one to the recent but yeah whatever.

An ordinary day today, did my chores in the morning and went sunbathing with the kids at the backyard. lol. pretty much i spent my day off relaxing and spent time with the family.

Now i don't even wanna go back to work.. :(

I have to go back reviewing since I stopped for a little bit... i really need to get back to that since I'm really running out of time and my application will pretty soon expired >.<

I miss somebody today. He's almost a bestfriend to me but I guess he's not yet ready to be one towards me. I wished we just remained friends and didn't try anything more than that and maybe until now we're still good friends... :-(

Oh well I'm just blogging coz i can't sleep... slept like 3 hours earlier afternoon so I'm so awake right now... TTYL.

Love is like a rollercoaster; it has ups and downs, twists and turns, but when you get of, you always want to get back on.

The family planned an outing going to hershey park at Pennsylvania but I was thinking not to come with them since they're leaving at friday noon and I have work til saturday but at work I realized that it's like a one time experience to actually travel with thefamily and have fun once in a while. So i decided to come with them but the dilemma was they already left the house and I need to go to NY by my own since we're staying overnight so we can leave in the morning to go to PA.

I traveled alone riding a train FOR THE FIRST TIME. I mean I experience it before wth LRTs in the Philippines but this time here in US is a lil bit scary for me which is Ironic. haha. It was almost 3 hours travel and 1 stop over. I had fun.

I hate when i have quiet moments because it makes me think about lots of stuffs in my mind. It's like a never ending problem solving time when I'm alone and it's like quiet.

So i arrived safe and the next day we went to hershey park. i think it was a 3hours travel.

I had fun there since i had the chance to ride some of the most scariest one. I realized if I'm with someone brave with me to ride it i feel brave too and for the first time i really had the best of my time in a rollercoaster.

My favorite was the black bear, the rail was on the head part so ur feet is hanging and we chose to ride in the very front so we actually see everything. it was fun. the best feeling i ever had. it's like u were flying.

I hate the water ride. The roller soaker. its not that its not fun. It's fun but the line sucks! we never thought it would take that long. it took 3 hours for us to actually get in to the ride and the whole time my eyes were closed! hahah i got scared coz i don't really feel secured with the lock it feels like im gonna fall any moment.

I can say i had really overcome my fears on roller coaster rides! hahah good for me, lol but hope my summer fun will not end here!

People sometimes don't make sense

Talking about Love...

Everything seems not right. You love him. He's not sure if he loves you. The other loves you truly but you don't know if you love him and the last thing that complicates everything is you left somebody waiting in a far away land that believes in the love story you made up because of your selfishness.

I was happy i fell in love again and actually got hurt after almost a year of being here. The love story didn't went good since it started like a game for both of us. Well.. I paid the price of actually lying about everything just to have what I want and when I want something I want it bad. I don't care who gets hurt in the way. That's the side of me that I want to change. But change is hard when you're actually used to be that way for 21years.

Well I'm sorry if we have to end this way. I'm not supposed to be your drama that you tell everybody and tell the whole world how many times I've hurt you. I'm not fair but so are you.

Talking about life...

Am I making sense? actually I don't understand anything that's happening. I'm actually in the lowest point in my life right now (that's what they're trying to make me think) but im surprised that I'm still happy. Lowest in a way. I don't have a very good job yet but at least I have one (something to be thank for). I don't have any car to bring me wherever I go. I can do limited stuffs and have limited freedom.

People who you think would understand you don't even understand you at all. They think they're right because that's the norm and that's what they believe life is supposed to be.
I'm not going to rush myself anymore. If i feel ready i will be ready.

I'm having fun dealing with some struggles of my life everyday. It sucks that you have to obey people's rules because you owe them a big part of you but I'm very thankful that God gave me these people. I'm just stubborn sometimes but this is who I am and this is my life at least give me the power to decide for my self.

If you give me advice. I'll appreciate it but i think it's not fair to get mad when I don't follow it because it's not an advice but rather a command. To be fair i'll be in silence rather than defend my side because no one and nobody will even understand.

9 months

It's been a while! yeahhhh! hahahah I've been very busy with work and life and take note not reviewing for anything! i feel so damn lazy can anyone try to motivate me? I'm starting to be contented with what I have in my life but I know this is not supposed to be the contentment part and I should make more efforts! hahahah...
I'm just happy. New friends. 9 months would you believe? 9 months and more months/years to come...

Sometimes i don't feel like going home anymore. Am i having fun here? a little bit. It's like i don't have any reasons anymore to go home. My friends are nowhere in sight. Busy as hell with their careers. My family? I don't even know if I still have one. It's a crazy life but I have to deal with it. Mahal? hmmm will you still love me?

The bright side? I was able to know the people here more. Somewhat not scared anymore to actually make friends and learn how to actually cope up with their attitudes but still preserving the filipina values I have (oha oha).

Life as a 21 year old is a very exciting part here in US unlike in our country it's like u have to prepare urself in a certain level of maturity for you are starting a more serious life and the pressure of being mature!

I started night life when I was 14 til before I left Philippines but not as much. Before i left I felt I was getting old because bars are populated by teenagers aging 14 to 18. Gemoy and I usually asks oursleves are we that OLD to feel that we don't belong anymore in this club? hahahaha

When I got here, it was a big change. I felt I was back to my teenage life just starting to explore the world. Turning 21 is a big issue. and New culture and stuffs like that, and you have to deal with it.

But life became a boring cycle as soon as I started working. Oh well it's up to me to make it a little bit worth living right? I'll only be 21 once so why not have fun?

A poem

My feelings of loving you,
My feelings of wanting you,
My feelings of needing you,
When I look at the sky,
and I wonder why,
It had to be YOU.

Prodigal Daughter

I was so stupid to tell her bad things and not recognizing all the efforts she made to make my life worth living. and for my existence I owe it partly to her but still made her feel that all of that is not enough to forgive her weakness. This is the time that she needs me the most and I didn't even try to understand her side. Am I that bad? I just realized things will go wrong sometimes but even a single reason to make things better will be very helpful. Now I can't bring those words back I already made a deep scratch in her heart and Lord I'm sorry. That is never acceptable and it's not gonna be. I hope things will be better. Better everyday.

Me. and the very unexpected problem.

I never thought this can happen to me or even imagined I will encounter this problem. It hurts so bad when the people you love the most are the one who's getting hurt. I can't do anything but support whatever decision they make. I thought these things only happens in movies or drama series. I don't expect things will happen this way. Maybe in some way this happened because I was not with them. or I don't even know If I could prevented it from happening. All I know is she's hurting so bad and I'm not there to understand why it happened. I'm so far thinking everything's okay back home not thinking of the bad things that may happen. I can't say exactly what happen to you guys. Maybe this is just one thing I'll keep to myself. The only thing I can share with you guys is that I feel so bad and I don't even know what to do or what to feel. She said it's okay. It's not OKAY and it's never OKAY.

I don't know why people get so blinded by love that they don't realize how wrong things are. I loved a person so much before that I, myself experienced the same thing but I didn't realized that it will double the pain if the one who's experiencing is the person you love.

Lord, I'm Sorry.

This is not my usual everyday blog would talk about but yeah I remember when I was still a child I was very religious (Lol) and I always attend mass every sunday or saturday maybe because we live like 7 houses from Church. Read the Novena, Joined the choir (lol haha bata pko nun eh) always attend different events like "Flores De Mayo" which my cousin got her scar on the hand because we're playing "tag" inside the church, it was break time from our bible study and I accidentaly hit the big pot of very hot arrozcaldo towards gemoy and she burned her hand. (SORRY GEMOY!)

A lot of stuffs. My mind was so pure hahah lol and It's funny because sometimes you want to attend the mass because you have a new dress and you want to wear them. I am considered lucky to know God and His presence in my early age. Nowadays, I know a lot of kids that they don't even know who is Papa Jesus... and these kids are Baptised Catholics/Christians.

I am thankful and I will always be thankful for everything.

I've been here for 6 months and I never had the chance to go to a mass. (Once, but that was Uncle Tim's Burial) or maybe I am too busy of much less important things that I didn't even bother to make time. Hope I could get a chance next Sunday and I hope my sunday review won't start that day. Yeah... Bad very Bad... T_T

The Addiction To Online Shopping: I WORK HARD Therefore I SHOP HARD!

I was cleaning my room earlier today to get rid of those things in my room that I don't need and I planned to buy a new comforter since I got tired of washing this big comforter every now and then so I have other choices hahaha and I got tired of the old design lol I want something new. But unfortunately the mall closed early today so we just ate snack and had coffee at panera bread, had a little shopping then went home. Okay so back to cleaning... I was reaching something at the top of my cabinet then when I pulled this paper bag hanging oh my gosh,, all those Boxes fell! I didn't realize it was that much hahahah! i used to clean it before and those boxes keep on falling and sometimes I hide them on the other room! hahaha

Ate mhel knows how I got addicted to this online shopping thing... so she always remind me to save... but since there's no time to go to mall sometimes what temps me is when I go to this online stores and when they notify me through emails that they have 80% sale or whatever... damn cant help myself! especially when the things I want is what on sale.


That's why until now I can't buy the laptop that I want because I keep on spending and spending and spending... and when I tried to arranged the clothes in my cabinet... almost all of my dress and clothes still got tags on them... why? I can't wear them haaha it's like the event should be very special before I would wear them. Crazy huh?

"Naku, 6 months k palang d2 andami n ng box n yan." Everytime those boxes arrived ate mhel always tells me.. "AKALA KO BA LAST NA YUN? BAKIT MERON NANAMAN?" hahahah well.

Maybe that's because that's the only super flash happiness I can get. I mean yeah... it gives you happiness for a moment but sometimes when you dont have someone to share it with it's like after all the spending it's not worth it? but I still do it. It makes me think of working more harder...

but now I need to slow down.. it's too much.. I don't have the right yet to spend and spend hahaha lol... well I'll try to! but I will not promise anything...

Meet "PUSO"

This is a very special Valentines Gift that I received (note: I appreciate all the gift and efforts). The Gift of Life! hehehe I never took care of any plant before and I'm scared to mess up with this one. My kuya got Green Thumb but I don't know yet if I have that kind of Gift. It's an ANTHURIUM can also be called "Flamingo Flower" or "Boy Flower". My kuya Mike gave it to me. I don't know but this is a very unexpected gift and I like it! I mean instead receiving dead roses... hehehe

Well I'll try my best to take good care of this one...

BTW...

Bob is leaving me for a couple of days or weeks, He needs to be fixed because the lens keeps on falling I don't know why... so I called Nikon tech support and they told me to bring my camera to where I bought it but Circuit City is closing so there I need to mail bob back to Nikon for them to fix him T_T... Sounds crazy but yeah i treat this gadgets of mine as treasures and they are my only pleasure (it rhymes). So yeah. but after the hockey game! hehehe So far so good...

Now I'm one step closer.

I really need to start focusing on my studies and read or much better finish my books... damn. I don't know why I feel so lazy and I don't know where to start...

Today I went to my make up class, and it was fun! I mean the instructor is really nice and compared to the previous one I can see the effort she's making to help us understand the concepts that she's trying to show. She made me introduced myself and so I did, I was surprised to myself that I was able to stand up and actually talk in front without feeling nervous or what hahah... everybody was nice.

One thing I noticed with the class is they tend to question the question. I mean yeah if you know something might as well say something about it but these practice questions that they're showing us undergo a lot of research and instead of questioning the credibility why not just find the reason why the ANSWER is the ANSWER.

I guess my advantage was I started this slight review of mine months ago, where I experienced the same thing like I was wondering why that is the answer when it's not even connected hahaha NCLEX is really crazy and you really need to look deeply and understand the choices.

I know i don't have the right yet to advice about this NCLEX thing but to my fellow batchmates or nursing students who are planning to take the NCLEX, might as well start reading your books now, and I recommend that you read the KAPLAN STRATEGIES then SAUNDERS BOOKS. Perfect combination.

To those who just graduated and just took the board. Start applying for ur NCLEX now if you're planning to go here and don't take a break yet... ^_^

ciaO!

Foxwoods Galore

hahaha lol okay so it's not my first time to go into a casino but definitely FOXWOODS is a different one. It's so huge and elegant and all the people were nice. I don't have any plans of going out last night besides attending my niece's bday party but since sonia is telling and begging me to go with them so why not? hahah what's the four days off for... so then I prepared and all that stuff... I was thinking if I'm gonna bring Bob (my camera) with me since I got this phobia of bringing my gadg with me coz I might lose it or something like that but I still brought it with me lol.

So there set up and everything... I chose 1 from 6 pairs of clothes to wear but thanks to my dear ate mhel and I had the right one for that night hahaha... sonia and her Hubby picked me up around 9 pm then went to pick up noel and finally straight to casino!

We decided to go clubbing first and then when everybody was holding their precious IDs I realized I'm not bringing one! hahahaha damn! we drove like 45 mins and there's no way we're going back just to get that ID so I borrowed my friend's ID hahahaha ssshhhh ! I was so freakin nervous! but then they let me go inside but definitely not with bob! hahaha so there I passed Bob to sonia's hubby since he'll go back to the car and get a new pants because they won't let him in because of the cargo pants. I didn't notice I dropped my Lens camera so there after all the clubbing and happenings. when sonia's hubby went back I saw him carrying my camera but it doesn't have it lens! waaaaaaa I was so nervous and I panic my gaaadd i just lost my phone and now what! i was walking around the casino with my boots unzipped hahaha because I was rushing to talked to somebody who work there to check if they have it on Lost and found!

Fortunately, Bob's lens was there! Thank God!

I didn't gamble or what ahhahaha lol I can't... I don't know but I should have tried to but I was so lazy last night! hahaha

Went home around 7 am whahah lol evrything's perfect and I did enjoy the clubbing moment... it's been a while!

i lost my phone...

Well this is the only memory left. I know it's my fault but it is just a material thing anyway which you can be able to buy again rather than losing people you love ayt? hahah a lot of worst things can happen but yeah I still consider my self lucky but very very irresponsible... hmmmp... well it already happened...

I was having my lunch at friendly's near Kaplan center then i paid the bill and took off to get a coffee at starbucks... I was so excited and I know I'm a person who forget a lot of things and I was thinking about my ipod then I totally forgot about my cp... when I came back to my review center I was gonna check my phone if there's any messages but then I cant find it in my bag so I tried to call it with my classmate's phone and there it is gone.. only my voicemail is answering me... well... I'm trying to call tmobile to lock it so who ever found it will not be able to use it... but let's see what's gonna happen...

Take note i didn't bought the insurance which I should have bought it because I'm not much of a good user so then again sorry for me...

Dramatic Pinay

Do you sometimes feel the same thing like deep sadness come rushing to your heart like you just want to cry and let it out? Well here it goes again and again... this thing happens to me like every 2 months... depression attack or should I say "missing my family" attack haha... I was reading some pages of my books when I suddenly heard someone calling me from downstairs, exactly the way how my MOm would call me... "cheng" i heard it three times... the first one gave me the impression that my mom was actually calling me but after a couple of milliseconds i realized i was not with them and there's no way that my mom would be here... then everything cleared up... My aunt was calling somebody and she was calling "beng" or what other name...

Now that hit me so bad.. i mean I really miss the way how things go in our house everyday... how my mom would check up on me if I was already home... or when I hear my lil brother open the door coming home from school or when my stepfather would stompt his feet before entering the house to remove the dirt in his shoes. I miss every detail...

I miss how I stay in bed sleeping for 16 hours and my mom will knock on my door saying... "cheng are you still alive?" hahaha well those were the days...

America will make you feel old. It gives you a routine that it's hard for you to get out from it... (This is just my opinion okay?). I love the things that it gives me. I love the pleasures but the pleasures are quick. Not everything is easy here... as most of my old fellow countrymen would think. I love the surroundings but i hate the fact that I can't even share it with people i love.. maybe not for now. I love how the season change, it gives you a lot of new beginnings... i hate the fact that I don't know how to start changing everything...

I'm still lucky, Lucky to have a simple life and having these important people around me and still have reasons to come back home...

6 months and counting

I WANT TO WRITE A BLOG BUT I DON"T KNOW HOW TO START... hahahahha well I guess that's a start...Maybe I'll just list some of my random thoughts for today...

1. I need to enroll to a BLS program
2. Another Decision to make... actually its already made... hahaha
3. I'm scared to Die.
4. Will my boobs get bigger if I got pregnant? ahahhaha
5. I miss everyone back home.

I'm having a lot of fun in youtube lately hahha lots of interesting video blogs lol.

My New Toy

weeeee! I completed the set.. not really but ALMOST ahahaha... wheeewwww.... at least it's something that I really worked hard for... supposed to be a laptop but i decided to get this one first so I can take a lot of nice pictures in my niece birthday! I'll be the photographer in charge... LOL

Obviously I don't know how to use it yet but eventually there's gonna be progress hahaha... a new phone and my new camera.. all the overtime is worth it... hahahah

Well I'll spend a lot on gadgets rather than clothes... the sad thing is I don't have my mahal or my friends to share the happiness with... it's really a lot more different before... but yeah.. another blessing...

mY bOOKS FIRST...! Review Review Review.. ayt!

Yoga Craze

okay for the first time i tried something new, Yesterday I went to work for overtime but went home early because there's no work that morning so I decided to go home and do something else instead... hhaha then I saw the Wii Fit so I said why not try? hahaha the kids are not there so nobody's gonna bother me... hahahaha

So i tried a lot of different stuffs hahaha but I focused more on balance games because i think that's my weakness... the Yoga thing is really cool haha but the bad part is, i didn't had any warm up at all... so this morning when I woke up all my muscles hurt so bad! as in! waaaaaa...

well bye bye for now...

Bye Bye Na.... but yeah see you again?

well goodbyes are always sad but sometimes you have to think about the positive side why it happens... I don't want to sound really dramatic but yeah I hate when people leave. One friend told me that I am so unfair because Its okay for me to leave people behind other than seeing people leave.

What I love about Airports is first, Somebody special is coming or second, your leaving for a vacation trip.

Gemoy left CT last sunday morning to go live in Tampa, Florida for good (i guess) which I think is a best decision for her but I felt really sad I even had some crying moments the day before she left. We grew up together, shared friends, have same interests.

I don't want to blame anybody for her decision not to stay here because I know things happen for a reason and maybe sometimes it has to be not so good to place you in a much better destination...

It's not a forever goodbye thing but It's more of a Goodbye-for-now thing... "I might" move in to Florida too... the pictures that gemoy sent are really interesting... I love that the apartment got a swimming pool and i love the kitchen, the room and the couch ahahha and I LOVE HOT WEATHER! im so Over and done with this super cold season it's making me lazy! but the thing is when I make big decisions i have to think about my family first... and things are not as easy for me because I support my family and they can be affected if things won't turn the way we want it if i move.

and I was thinking about my things hahahaha I know all of this won't fit in two bags and it will cost me a lot! but yeah Im thinking about moving... it's time for me to be MORE independent. lol

well my 2 days off were quite alarming... hahah i haven't read any of my books and I didn't go to my review class last sunday coz it's snowing so hard... well I know everything's gonna be okay... I slept all day long today hahahaha....

I cleaned my closet last sunday and i was surprised how many clothes i have that still have TAGS on it. hahaha That's what I discovered about myself recently when I really like something like a shirt or a dress it comes to the point that I don't even wanna wear it. I don't know if other girls are the same but yeah it's like the occasion needs to be really important or special for me to wear them ahahhaha lol.


Oh well for sure I'm gonna sleep really late today coz i had a lot of sleep the whole day...

The best Job in the world

still can't get enough of the article I read on yahoo news 2 days ago. An Australian state is offering a job that pays you 105,000 US dollars for 6 months staying on a nice island with free food and shelter.

For more info click this link: Best Job in The World

well I would love to apply to the said job for doing what? act as a caretaker of a beautiful paradise free food and everything do some weekly blogs for the public about the island. Take pictures, go snorkeling and a lot of stuffs! and when you're done with the job you got $105k wow....

So guys we should try to apply hahaha check out the link and follow the site there where you can apply plus you can upload videos for application!

what's keepin me working

haiiiz the day ended fast today at work! 3 days more! well because I found a new way to escape reality and that's through my imagination ahhaha lol really it helps! in my kind of job you don't really need to put a lot of concentration that's why I can still manage to daydream and work as well... hhahaha

well the more powerful the daydream, the better! so what I do is imagine that I'm on my way back to philippines to have a month of vacation, and there time runs so fast! hahahaha it really helps... or I think about all the dilemmas that I need to be worried about like what if I fail? (knock on wood) what if my papers will not be processed and my cgfns application expired? what's my plan B?

Everything that I need to set or plan happens in my 12 hour shift... multi tasking... hahaha well if i can only bring my book and read it if we don't have any job to run I would probably do it.

So far, I'm still waiting. My world is like in a PAUSE mode.

I didn't had any class last sunday due to the bad weather and hopefully I will have one this sunday! for now... work work work work work.

I got this quote on my cup of coffee... and i liked it.

"I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me at the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for so many years. and then I realized, you just say, "Hi". they may ignore you or you may marry them and that possiblity is worth that one word."

ES TI AR E ES ES

Stress is always useless... "We get stressed because it makes us feel as though 'we're on top of things'. We get worried if we're not stressed, as though we've missed something. We worry and worry because we think 'we're on the case'. But in reality, it would be more beneficial to be in that calm state of mind we love, when approaching a challenging task. You may think that's ridiculous. But think about it; you’re under mass pressure, what will work more: approaching the task mega stressed, or - imagining - (note that word) that everything is OK and possible (even if it isn't). This, oddly, works wonders. Go for a run often too, you'll be amazed as to what it does - even to those who are depressed."

worth a post ^_^

T-Mobile G1 and iPod touch: The ultimate digital duo?

T-Mobile G1 and iPod touch: The ultimate digital duo?

Posted using ShareThis

LOVE at first sight

wooot at last I have extra time to blog today! I'm having difficulty in balancing my time for a couple of days now.. super duper bUsy! as in... well what's new? I had my first day of class in my review last SUNDAY and it was a very interesting day. We are like 17 students who enrolled in the same class... And i think I'm the youngest lolz. It was a great day and I'm looking forward for the next class...

Super OVERTIME! yeah. 12 hours everyday... my 6th day tomorrow! lol working my ass out to buy a new laptop! lol hahahahaha (SONY VAIO PINK)

we went to best buy last week to check it out on how much is the total price and if they do Layaway. Unfortunately they don't have layaway plan for laptops and digital cameras. What sucks? The laptop is on sale for like a hundred bucks off!!!! but it will end this weekend which means I can't buy it. And even I have the money that night they ran out of stock!!! LUCKY HUH? But yeah so far this is the only thing that I want so bad that it came to the point that I really put so much effort just for me to be able to buy it. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. 1 to 2 more weeks.

I found her. What a Small World.

Okay, 1st this is a really tiring day. As soon as I got home I went straight to bed... I woke up around midnight coz my tummy really hurts and it needs something to digest. hahah lol. I didn't even had the chance to talk to my mom on the phone or even with my mahal coz I was really tired. oh well.

I logged in my facebook account yesterday and was surprised with a message coming from a stranger asking me if I am Rosedale Pickering and If I am her classmate back in Highschool. From there I knew who she was talking about, which is my big sister. yeah Big Sister. I already met 2 random people who knows my sister and recognize my name and asked me if I'm related to her.

I only know her by name, and that my middle name was named after her (obviously). i don't even know how she looks like ( but now I do) or if she knew that she have a little sister. lol

My kuya rodney is really lucky because he had the chance to meet his two lil sisters lol. I don't know if its destiny or what.

I recently met my brother (kuya rodney) when I moved here in CT, which is I think is a good thing because out of 50 states it's almost imposible for us to ever meet but God made it happen...

3 siblings, 3 different moms. My powerful Dad lol. hahah My Kuya's Mom name is Susan, My Mom's Name is Susan and my Dad named me SUSAN. now that's crazy. hahah What's with Susan huh dad? hahha lol

Okay so this person in my facebook told me that she recently talked to my sister in friendster, so I was curious and tried to search for her because I don't really have any idea how she looks like who knows maybe we bump into each other before.

Luckily i found her profile and actually saw her pictures there Thank God her profile was not set to private! I felt weird lol. I dunno. I don't know how to react but yeah finally...

I think she's living somewhere in New York or back in new Jersey.

Did I message her? nope. I just don't know what to say. ahahaahhaha

oh well papel...

woooot excited for my classes at last tuloy na!!! anyways too tired to blog maybe tomorrow! hahaha lol... this is a hell of a week toinkz.