I need to update

been wanting to blog for a long time but way too busy to do so. Work, then applying for a Nursing job and a lot of stuffs going on.

Me and my love went to movies last 07-23-10 to watch "Inception" for our 11 month date, guess who we saw? his ex! hahaha for the first time. It was kinda awkward because i had no idea it was her until my bheb told me. oh well.

Then last saturday we went to the Carnival in New Hartland it was fun! it reminded me of the carnivals back home. Pretty much the same concept but honestly we have more fun stuffs on our carnivals back home than here... more food choices, more rides and it's open till daylight! hhahaha. We went to Debbie's house (jose's friend) I had fun and everybody was nice! i had few smirnoffs.. just wish I wasn't tired that night prolly we could have stayed longer but i worked 12 hours and my body is complaining already...

On the other hand, Ate analyn is in the Philippines right now with her hubby and I really miss her. Work is boring without her... :( i don't have anybody to share my lunch with or my cookies or tell stories to so the time would run faster. Oh well she'll be there for 2 more weeks...

Right now. I'm trying to find a Job that I have been wanting to have for a long time but this economy sucks way too much that it's soooo hard to find one especially on my case not having any experience! grrr...

I have to be patient again :) oh well i have sooo much more to say but I'm too tired to blog so prollyy tom :) I need to update my blog more often anyway...

Grey's anatomy is keeping me busy this past few weeks and I'm loving it!

P.S making my blogs and pictures on public mode for couple of weeks... multiply is getting dry... and it sucks!

I got you! :)

ok! this blog has been on my draft for a long time and i figured I needed to give justice and make a little changes and finally post it!

I know it's a little late and prolly you guys are tired of me bragging about passing my NCLEX RN exam but let's face it's not a very easy experience and I waited long enough to achieve this and been dreaming of the moment when I can finally share my story, my struggles and finally the success I've been waiting for.

Some people won't have the guts to admit how many times they really took it, and I admire those people who don't care about what people would think about them or don't care if people will judge them.

Nclex is not easy. Nothing is easy. The first time I didn't make it I was depressed for months, I don't even want to see my books, i don't even want to talk about it. I got mad. I blamed everybody, I blamed myself for not doing my best for thinking I never failed anything why would i fail this one? and then it happened and I got devastated, i felt all the money I spent and worked hard for, all went straight to trash.

I was embarrassed. I felt down. I got paranoid. I felt maybe I'm stupid? or dumb. I felt all the negative emotions. Then months passed i realized, wait. I am not going to get old and die not having a license, I worked hard for 4 years and I'm not giving up on this one! lol.

If I survived Sir Corpus(prof in NCM 104) Maam Weandy, Sir Manio (Prof in Pharmacology), and all those major subjects not mentioned, I'll survive anything! lol

I went back to my books, saved money and searched for a good review that would help me.

KAPLAN- practice questions were good but lack of content in my opinion. When I attended the class they just read questions and explained how they got the answer but no formal Med Surg on actual class. (didn't go through all my online review so i don't know that part) lol

Books: Saunders Comprehensive review.- I love the CD! but I suck at reading books just few pages you'll see me starting to fall asleep! So what I did was I answer questions then if I have questions I go to the book.

Mosby's Pharmacology Memory Note Cards : the best Pharmacology book I have ever had! I'm a visual learner and this books contains drawings, colors, and some comic type stories that's fun and very helpful for me to remember side effects and indications! If you're a visual learner you have to have this!

RN notes clinical pocket guide: a very tiny book that you could bring anywhere if you need to scan or try to memorize labs or some simple procedures.

HURST REVIEW (ONLINE): I owe it to them Big time! they have sets of handouts which you can print per topic or if you want the whole book itself. I prefer printing it topic per topic. You know why? Coz when I print the whole thing and I see it it seems so much for me to study all those stuffs. I printed it topic per topic at the end I was amazed how much pages I read and finish without even realizing it.

Iphone/Pod application (saunders): it's everywhere with me. When I don't have nothing to do and don't have my books with me I answer questions!

Feuer and Kaplan Audio: I listen to them while at work (Saturdays). Thanks to my super duper nice Supervisor letting me review while working :) i listen to them OVER and OVER!

ALLNURSES.com a super helpful forum for people like me, I got so much info's from that site and answered questions!

So now, I need to wait for my endorsement to finally be over and get my license for Connecticut since I have NY license. Another waiting process but hey! I waited 2 years what's few more weeks?

All the missed parties, gimiks, and outings are worth it! finally I can do stuffs that I have been wanting to do for a long time but I don't have time! Photography, blogging, pictorials, videos.

Super thanks to everybody that lighted candles and prayed for this success. It's worth it.

Dear John

so I've been wanting to watch Dear John for a long time and finally last night me and my cousin rented it. The first part of the story was so good and also the drama part about the dad it made me cry. I also love the location and stuff. Then the end part was not what I'm expecting at all! it's kinda shocking and disappointing. They could have made it better but overall it's not that bad... Good thing I didn't watch it at the theater coz I would've been really disappointed.

oh well, anyways life is good and everything's fine! praying praying praying!

Let's talk about LOVE.

Some love are naturally perfect, Some you have to work hard to make it perfect...

I fell in love so many times before, sometimes with the same person over and over again...and from those I learned so many lessons, earned so many heartaches too.

Sometimes you ask life so many questions like why cupid is unfair? You fall in love with a person that doesn't love you back or you can't love somebody who love you enough.

Things happen like you love each other so much but you can't be together because there's a lot of people involved that might get hurt if you decide to be together or you fell in love with the same sex and things got so complicated (generally speaking).

Why can't it be just You love him, He loves you. That's it. No complications. No heartaches.

Well I think that's the main challenge of love. Overcome all trials... work hard to make it happen and make it go on and on.

How bout soul mates? yes. I do believe I have a soul mate. I did found him, I believed from the very first time in my life that it's really is true. You really have this person that comes in your life and everything seems to be perfect. Like you fall in love everyday you see him. You feel those butterflies in your stomach whenever you imagine him, his kiss, his touch, his voice. Then suddenly in the end, the devil makes you doubt it. makes you think if this is real? No. it's too perfect to be real. Then you get scared. You get weak and then temptation sinks in then you just realized you got sucked in and you ruined everything.

You try fixing it. But as the old saying says when you break the trust you can't have it back anymore the way it was like a crumpled paper. There's this thought that it's never perfect anymore and it's not gonna be perfect no matter what you do. You come to think he doesn't deserve you anymore.

That's when you realize you have to move on. You have to let it go. Even how much it will hurt you.

They say it takes a full year or more to move on. Why? because of all the holidays, the dates and all the celebration. I believe when love is great it never lose a place in your heart.

Me? I find somebody to help me move on. In a way your using that person but if he loves you, it's fair enough to give it a try and maybe he can heal your heart or I find somebody wanting to move on, so that we can move on together and make new memories together.

Some love are challenged by distance. Others by the past love of their loved ones trying to compete with the past. Whatever it is, always think that even a tiny bit reason to fight for it, DO it. Hold on as much as you can. Then when every single solution fails. You let go.

I'm a kind of person that's challenged with the past. That's my thing. I try to do everything and prove that I'm better, that I'm more worth pursuing and I'm lucky to be successful.

I learned a lot from the past long relationships and this relationship i have right now is worth fighting for. It has its ups and downs but everything work out in the end. He's amazing in so many ways and I never imagined he will turned out to be that guy I always wanted in my life. and I can say I'm finally letting go of all the past. They're just memories now. Lessons learned.

It's been almost a year now. Thank you Lord for giving me memorable relationships. I'm still working on my fairytale and my own happy ending.

9th Month <3

Happy 9 months bheb.. yay! time really fly so quick...

supposed to go to ihop this morning for our monthsary breakfast since my bheb got work today but by the time we got there it was so packed and decided to go to friendlys instead, then onas we're on our way there, we passed by Cheesecake factory, and we we have been planning to go there for a long time so we got really excited and decided to have breakfast there.

the food and smoothies were so good! super love it! I got a tiramisu cheesecake and it was alright, i think it's better if i got the strawberry one but whatever everything was perfect!

Last night, we had the chance to chill with eric since he put up a bonfire on their backyard.. it was actually nice and very calming.. I wish we were able to do this back home (Philippines) but there's no space since houses are built so close to each other...

For the past few weeks, I've been wanting to go home so bad... like really bad I always cry at night... good thing bheb always try to comfort me and make me feel better, i don't know how I'm going to survive loneliness if I didn't met him at all..

He made my life here a little easier and always try to cheer me up when I'm really down.. I miss everybody.. like EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING.

I don't have any choice but to deal with the loneliness.. I can't wait for that day to come that I could finally see everybody, hug them tight, laugh with them, do silly stuffs, reminisce moments, chill, smoke, drink, play cards... I even miss riding a jeepney or tricycle...

Oh well another day. I survived! lol

Again, HAPPY 9th Monthsary bheb... I'm happy I made you fall in love with me. :-)

The Last letter

I will get there...

Work work work... no time to study as usual... what keeps me busy nowadays is my bheb, my books and some blogs that always read from other sites which really helps me a lot and motivates me but FACEBOOK always ruins everything for me... it is just way too addicting... lol

I was scheduled to work today for overtime but since they sent us home early yesterday and usually most of the time I can't afford to waste my effort and wake up early only to go to work for 4 hours... when I can rest instead and actually enough time to study and do some chores...

I'm actually Losing hope about my nursing thing... it seems like time goes by faster each day and I just get lazier and lazier... I need some strong motivation... I always think of some sort of things I like and I want to do after I finally get over this review and finally hold that License...

I know, God have plans for me or for everyone in the whole wide word... that's the only reason i could think about.. Im sooo close... I just have to double or even triple my efforts and prayers... I can't wait for that day that I could actually say I'm finally a registered nurse.

After those 4 long years you go to school and those mean teachers and overnight group study and group projects? Oh well... I know everything will turn out to be just fine... :-)

On the other note, I miss my HOME! i miss everybody so much... I just want to say sorry for those people who constantly leaving messages on my YM if wasn't able to reply.. I'm just way too busy at work and studying... e-mail you guys pretty soon...