Dear John

so I've been wanting to watch Dear John for a long time and finally last night me and my cousin rented it. The first part of the story was so good and also the drama part about the dad it made me cry. I also love the location and stuff. Then the end part was not what I'm expecting at all! it's kinda shocking and disappointing. They could have made it better but overall it's not that bad... Good thing I didn't watch it at the theater coz I would've been really disappointed.

oh well, anyways life is good and everything's fine! praying praying praying!

Let's talk about LOVE.

Some love are naturally perfect, Some you have to work hard to make it perfect...

I fell in love so many times before, sometimes with the same person over and over again...and from those I learned so many lessons, earned so many heartaches too.

Sometimes you ask life so many questions like why cupid is unfair? You fall in love with a person that doesn't love you back or you can't love somebody who love you enough.

Things happen like you love each other so much but you can't be together because there's a lot of people involved that might get hurt if you decide to be together or you fell in love with the same sex and things got so complicated (generally speaking).

Why can't it be just You love him, He loves you. That's it. No complications. No heartaches.

Well I think that's the main challenge of love. Overcome all trials... work hard to make it happen and make it go on and on.

How bout soul mates? yes. I do believe I have a soul mate. I did found him, I believed from the very first time in my life that it's really is true. You really have this person that comes in your life and everything seems to be perfect. Like you fall in love everyday you see him. You feel those butterflies in your stomach whenever you imagine him, his kiss, his touch, his voice. Then suddenly in the end, the devil makes you doubt it. makes you think if this is real? No. it's too perfect to be real. Then you get scared. You get weak and then temptation sinks in then you just realized you got sucked in and you ruined everything.

You try fixing it. But as the old saying says when you break the trust you can't have it back anymore the way it was like a crumpled paper. There's this thought that it's never perfect anymore and it's not gonna be perfect no matter what you do. You come to think he doesn't deserve you anymore.

That's when you realize you have to move on. You have to let it go. Even how much it will hurt you.

They say it takes a full year or more to move on. Why? because of all the holidays, the dates and all the celebration. I believe when love is great it never lose a place in your heart.

Me? I find somebody to help me move on. In a way your using that person but if he loves you, it's fair enough to give it a try and maybe he can heal your heart or I find somebody wanting to move on, so that we can move on together and make new memories together.

Some love are challenged by distance. Others by the past love of their loved ones trying to compete with the past. Whatever it is, always think that even a tiny bit reason to fight for it, DO it. Hold on as much as you can. Then when every single solution fails. You let go.

I'm a kind of person that's challenged with the past. That's my thing. I try to do everything and prove that I'm better, that I'm more worth pursuing and I'm lucky to be successful.

I learned a lot from the past long relationships and this relationship i have right now is worth fighting for. It has its ups and downs but everything work out in the end. He's amazing in so many ways and I never imagined he will turned out to be that guy I always wanted in my life. and I can say I'm finally letting go of all the past. They're just memories now. Lessons learned.

It's been almost a year now. Thank you Lord for giving me memorable relationships. I'm still working on my fairytale and my own happy ending.

9th Month <3

Happy 9 months bheb.. yay! time really fly so quick...

supposed to go to ihop this morning for our monthsary breakfast since my bheb got work today but by the time we got there it was so packed and decided to go to friendlys instead, then onas we're on our way there, we passed by Cheesecake factory, and we we have been planning to go there for a long time so we got really excited and decided to have breakfast there.

the food and smoothies were so good! super love it! I got a tiramisu cheesecake and it was alright, i think it's better if i got the strawberry one but whatever everything was perfect!

Last night, we had the chance to chill with eric since he put up a bonfire on their backyard.. it was actually nice and very calming.. I wish we were able to do this back home (Philippines) but there's no space since houses are built so close to each other...

For the past few weeks, I've been wanting to go home so bad... like really bad I always cry at night... good thing bheb always try to comfort me and make me feel better, i don't know how I'm going to survive loneliness if I didn't met him at all..

He made my life here a little easier and always try to cheer me up when I'm really down.. I miss everybody.. like EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING.

I don't have any choice but to deal with the loneliness.. I can't wait for that day to come that I could finally see everybody, hug them tight, laugh with them, do silly stuffs, reminisce moments, chill, smoke, drink, play cards... I even miss riding a jeepney or tricycle...

Oh well another day. I survived! lol

Again, HAPPY 9th Monthsary bheb... I'm happy I made you fall in love with me. :-)

The Last letter

I will get there...

Work work work... no time to study as usual... what keeps me busy nowadays is my bheb, my books and some blogs that always read from other sites which really helps me a lot and motivates me but FACEBOOK always ruins everything for me... it is just way too addicting... lol

I was scheduled to work today for overtime but since they sent us home early yesterday and usually most of the time I can't afford to waste my effort and wake up early only to go to work for 4 hours... when I can rest instead and actually enough time to study and do some chores...

I'm actually Losing hope about my nursing thing... it seems like time goes by faster each day and I just get lazier and lazier... I need some strong motivation... I always think of some sort of things I like and I want to do after I finally get over this review and finally hold that License...

I know, God have plans for me or for everyone in the whole wide word... that's the only reason i could think about.. Im sooo close... I just have to double or even triple my efforts and prayers... I can't wait for that day that I could actually say I'm finally a registered nurse.

After those 4 long years you go to school and those mean teachers and overnight group study and group projects? Oh well... I know everything will turn out to be just fine... :-)

On the other note, I miss my HOME! i miss everybody so much... I just want to say sorry for those people who constantly leaving messages on my YM if wasn't able to reply.. I'm just way too busy at work and studying... e-mail you guys pretty soon...

Does facebook ruin relationships?

yeah I got this as my status earlier... i had this conversation with my boyfriend and i really felt it bothered him so much when i was talking to my long lost friend back in elementary... My boyfriend was bothered because i was talking to a guy... and my bf is kinda the jealous type... and it was my fault because i didn't informed him about that conversation. It wasn't a big deal for me but i immediately think that what if he did the same thing and forgot to let me know? would i be upset? of course I will be!

So i tried to calm down and talk it out with him... tried to explain everything... I was a friendster fan way back HS and college... I'll never let a day pass without checking it just to see who viewed my profile and maybe who looked at my new uploaded pictures...

I never had a problem with my recent ex boyfriend about anything on friendster, not that I know of. Just because we are always together anyway... i guess i forgot about that and now still acting the way I was...

So me and my bf had a long talk about it and finally he understood my point of being far away from everybody and all my friends which i can only have conversations through facebook or chats...

Now I'm trying to put myself in his position and try to think before i do something because I don't really want to make him feel upset about anything and also i don't want to ruin what we already have just because of this small things thats bothering him.

I need to study anyway...

Long Week

yay! Happy Easter! If I didn't have to work tom. I would probably attend the mass but unfortunately, I need to work.

Tomorrow should be my day off til wednesday but like i said 7 more days til my day off! woah... Plus, tomorrow should be busy and really exhausting but i'll manage to survive...

I miss my bheb! no cuddling for a couple of days til our day off plus he will be transferred to a different shift, meaning we have lesser time together... :-(

But we should be happy and thankful if he finally got hired... it's really hard to find a job nowadays and this is just a challenge to our relationship... oh well. I'm kinda sleepy now but here's a whole lot pages of book to read!