9 months

It's been a while! yeahhhh! hahahah I've been very busy with work and life and take note not reviewing for anything! i feel so damn lazy can anyone try to motivate me? I'm starting to be contented with what I have in my life but I know this is not supposed to be the contentment part and I should make more efforts! hahahah...
I'm just happy. New friends. 9 months would you believe? 9 months and more months/years to come...

Sometimes i don't feel like going home anymore. Am i having fun here? a little bit. It's like i don't have any reasons anymore to go home. My friends are nowhere in sight. Busy as hell with their careers. My family? I don't even know if I still have one. It's a crazy life but I have to deal with it. Mahal? hmmm will you still love me?

The bright side? I was able to know the people here more. Somewhat not scared anymore to actually make friends and learn how to actually cope up with their attitudes but still preserving the filipina values I have (oha oha).

Life as a 21 year old is a very exciting part here in US unlike in our country it's like u have to prepare urself in a certain level of maturity for you are starting a more serious life and the pressure of being mature!

I started night life when I was 14 til before I left Philippines but not as much. Before i left I felt I was getting old because bars are populated by teenagers aging 14 to 18. Gemoy and I usually asks oursleves are we that OLD to feel that we don't belong anymore in this club? hahahaha

When I got here, it was a big change. I felt I was back to my teenage life just starting to explore the world. Turning 21 is a big issue. and New culture and stuffs like that, and you have to deal with it.

But life became a boring cycle as soon as I started working. Oh well it's up to me to make it a little bit worth living right? I'll only be 21 once so why not have fun?

A poem

My feelings of loving you,
My feelings of wanting you,
My feelings of needing you,
When I look at the sky,
and I wonder why,
It had to be YOU.

Prodigal Daughter

I was so stupid to tell her bad things and not recognizing all the efforts she made to make my life worth living. and for my existence I owe it partly to her but still made her feel that all of that is not enough to forgive her weakness. This is the time that she needs me the most and I didn't even try to understand her side. Am I that bad? I just realized things will go wrong sometimes but even a single reason to make things better will be very helpful. Now I can't bring those words back I already made a deep scratch in her heart and Lord I'm sorry. That is never acceptable and it's not gonna be. I hope things will be better. Better everyday.

Me. and the very unexpected problem.

I never thought this can happen to me or even imagined I will encounter this problem. It hurts so bad when the people you love the most are the one who's getting hurt. I can't do anything but support whatever decision they make. I thought these things only happens in movies or drama series. I don't expect things will happen this way. Maybe in some way this happened because I was not with them. or I don't even know If I could prevented it from happening. All I know is she's hurting so bad and I'm not there to understand why it happened. I'm so far thinking everything's okay back home not thinking of the bad things that may happen. I can't say exactly what happen to you guys. Maybe this is just one thing I'll keep to myself. The only thing I can share with you guys is that I feel so bad and I don't even know what to do or what to feel. She said it's okay. It's not OKAY and it's never OKAY.

I don't know why people get so blinded by love that they don't realize how wrong things are. I loved a person so much before that I, myself experienced the same thing but I didn't realized that it will double the pain if the one who's experiencing is the person you love.