Love Bipolar

hmmmpp e2 nanaman si ako... tama na ksi... bt ganun?
if you dont like drama, just don't read this one...

Its his birthday today and im so excited to call him and sing a birthday song for him like what he did on my birthday, I alarmed my phone and i want it to be exactly 12 then there I was so excited to dial his number and then I got disappointed because his phone was off... so every hour i tried to call him but still his phone is off... I checked his page to see if there's something new.. And yes there is something new... now I know what's the message for... "If you have somebody else right now I hope he will love you the way I did.." I've been here for 5 long months and I never attempted to find somebody else or accept somebody. I just live my life day by day. I talked to boys take pictures with them, actually go out with few but that's it. I guess you can't wait. That's fine...

It hurts like hell but It also felt good... how ironic... I miss the feeling... the feeling of getting hurt... yes, I am jelous and you did a very good job... so this is the point of you letting go? so is she the one?

I am not going to hold you back again like before and then just leave you again in nowhere... if this is all the karma and i have to pay back the pain that you've suffered then that's the call... Like i said I know im gonna be really sorry for letting you go and i can't find somebody else like you...

I hope this is the happiness that you've been waiting for... and "us" is the best thing that happened to me, nobody can beat what you did...

"You miss me or just the things I do for you?"

-the things that you did for me are part of who you are, so yeah...

Este es un dia muy frio!

what a week again... thank God it's saturday tomorrow which means last day of 12 long hours of work... well well well! hahaha everything is fine but just lots of drama at home for the past days... some personal stuffs but its affecting me, too much stress... lol.

My new boyfriend is here! hahaha maybe ill take a couple of pictures of him tomorrow... hahah been saving for a couple of weeks for this one... I need to be careful in spending on stuffs. Naaaa he's not an actual guy... i bought this ipod touch so i can bring my review stuffs with me anywhere and a lot of reasons behind... yeah i know its too much... but hey i work hard its a little late bday gift to myself wahahaha.... at first i was thinking if im gonna buy Nikon D60 or this one but at the end i found myself clicking ipod touch, i dunno maybe the free engraving thing to personalized it convinced me... I can't buy iphone first the unlocked ones are too expensive then there's no iphone in t-mobile so yeah sorry for me...then that's it hahaha.

colder and colder EVERYDAY!

ohh la la... im getting really sleepy... huhuh

P.S im trying to learn spanish and i kinda know some sentences now wooohoooo....!

Some desire is necessary to keep life in motion

well i have 2 days off isn't great? hahaha i should be reading but I slept almost the whole day yesterday and it gave me a headache! whaha well... I don't know how to start this blog because there's a lot of things in my mind that I want to share with you guys... ahahaha

Early this morning as a opened my window to check if kuya mike is already at home I saw the grass outside covered with a thin layer of ice and the air is really really cold, i got a little bit excited and got scared too coz it's a new experience for me, well they said snow will start to fall next week and my supervisor is so excited for me hahah... he keeps on telling me worst thing about winter instead of telling me the good things about it... maybe because it is really that bad...

Thanksgiving is coming and again it's my first thanksgiving here. I have a lot of things to be really thankful for, so much blessings... new friends, jobs, good health and a loving family!

Last saturday, was clubbing night, I got out from work around 5 30 then Alan dropped off his late gift which is really nice! i love the color...! then prepared around 8 30, waited for gemoy then finally ready for the night... I was feeling a little bit tired but i had a lot of fun! After clubbing we went straight to Denny's for breakfast then @ 5 am finally got home, slept for an hour then woke up for work@ 7am! I was really sleepy that day and it feels like im so high ahhah... Paid the price of having fun!

I bought a boyfriend... pretty soon you'll gonna meet him hhahaha.... so excited!!!!!!!!!

Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer.

Friendster is f*c#*d up! well im so disappointed on how my friendster page turned out today grrrrr from 1200+ friends went down to like 87? wtf! hmmmmm hopefully they will fix it soon.

At last tomorrow is saturday! last day of workkkkkkk! wooooo... i don't mind working on my other job during sundays coz its not that hard unlike working 12hours... woooaah...

until now still can't find time for reading my books and stuffs grrrr.. i can see myslef 2months from now sobbing and so depressed because i failed my exam... hmp! hahhaa.. oppppsss knock on wood!!!! i don't want to expect anything but for now im wishing that the processing of my application will be successful and everything will go my way... Hope the lighting of candles will work again this time...

Oh my! NEWS: I'm getting fat or should i say GAINED WEIGHT for the first time... hahaha YES! im weighing 110lbs now... from 103 to 105 then 110! And it should stop there, no more... hahaha getting really cold everyday. Gemoy and I are still adjusting with the upcoming winter season... Thank God im not getting sick or what coz i can't afford to get sick! no no no!

and finally as the title of this blog says i need to do something to make my dreams come true and i need to be commited in that goal... to tell you honeslty im in the weakest level right now in meeting that goal of mine... maybe because I easily get contented with what I have in my life and sometimes i don't ask for more but the bad thing about that is im not opening my pathway to improvements... "HEY CHENG WAKE UP, REMEMBER THE FOUR YEARS..."

Motivate me

woooottt... got the mood to write a blog tonight and gaaaddd its been how many days since i wrote one. Hmmm okay just had my bday celebration last saturday and it was an awesome night with friends and family! superrrr... Thanks to all the people who remebered my bday and gave effort to greet me online, by call or personally. I really felt so special that day and even my coworkers put up a surprise for me and it made me cry huhuhu... and ofcourse thanks for the gifts! weeeee

few movie nights with my cuz and gemoy... tons of laughter, some issues. what else? uhmm WELL I AM SO LAZY! whats new? motivate me! help me guys... huhuhuhu i need to really REALLY really start READING!!!

okay...

Now im starting to save for Christmas so i can make my family's Christmas in the philippines really fun without me. hahaha... 10 Godchildrens oh my...I really need a lot of saving to do... whahahaha

Well hmmmm its kinda late and i need to read some few pages first before closing my eyes and fly away to wonderland lol :p

asi que el frio aqui

Woot.. its getting really cold and it sucks the good news is I gained weight which is really good haha that's my goal and atleast all the effort worked out. Few more days and its gonna be my 21st bday wooottt does it mean I'm old enough?

Haha well anyways I still feel like I'm just 16 haha well everything in my life is so good right now I feel loved by the people around me and everybody is taking really good care of me. I have my kuya, ate mhel, cousins and my aunt and all the filipino people here is really nice to me. Now it doesn't feel like I'm not at home anymore. This place is becoming my really 2nd home because of the people around me. I still miss my family and friends and hopefully I could get a chance to go home next year if my plans will work out and I'm praying for it.

It just sucks how some people can be really mean sometimes and it gets in to me but I have to suck it all out and I have no choice but to find ways how to deal with them..

I just love being nice and funny but it doesn't always mean that I like you as in like I'm flirting with you. Good thing I can be really patient at times and I didn't embarrassed you. Thank God I didn't do that coz if I did ul gonna lose all the confidence u have in ur system ahaha.

- just choose to hang out a lot with boys coz I don't like friendship dramas that usually girls do have.. so that it fow now.. I'm just bored here at work credits to ate mhel`s G1 hahaha...

Así que el frío aqu