MISSSSSSSSSSSSS KO NA XAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4.8.6 12-25-07

weeeee hahaha hnd q na naupdate blog kO la aKO net sa jan pa cgro ako mgkakaroOn ulit.. Belated Merry xmas peoPle! woOot!

nice xmas first time mgcelbrate ng xmas n wla sa bahay >.<
weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

got this while searching for Grey's Anatomy quotes.... here it goes...

“Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. Because without it –i don’t know…maybe we just wouldn’t feel real. What’s that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.”

and

“Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope the wound that causes it heals. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can’t outrun it, and life always makes more.”

Winter Blues

Still loaded with emotions but trying to figure out how to handle things inside me... I'm not used of feeling this way since my personality doesn't support stuffs like these. Maybe my neurotransmitters are still unbalanced... hahahah (see? Im laughing after stating that I'm feeling a little heavy inside).

Seriously, I want to let this feeling stay for a while but not too long for me to actually realize things. Brag about this feelings within me with friends earlier. Thank yOu for listening gUys... I'm kinda mushy lately but this will pass and just being there with me is enough.

I don't really know what to write, sorry for making my blog kinda dramatic lately... Maybe I'm just trying to get myself busy.

Okay I'm not making sense anymore, I'll try to get some sleep now because I'm already tired and wasted.

Crying day

dO you have moments like this?

Sometimes when days and months passed by that I'm too happy (always happy) because I tend to keep deeply inside my heart all of the sadness that I felt for the past months and I when time comes that I want to let it out, I recall every moment, every fear that I have. lock my room and cry until I can let all negative emotions out in my system. Then another start as if I recharged my emotions and again I'm capable of keeping another set of new feelings maybe positive or negative, even absorb emotions from others.

Sometimes even it's not in my plan, tears suddenly falls from my eyes. I just want to nurse the feeling even just for a moment... I want to feel the pain itself in order for me to make stronger barriers from these emotions. You may think that I'm crazy or what but it's something worth doing.

I don't usually cry for love like when my boyfriend and I, have misunderstandings (which is so seldom to happen) but friends can easily hurt my feelings even just for few words.

Cried 4 times today. 2 times because of Anelle,my friend. We had a little misunderstanding earlier I will not go in to details anymore.

2 times because of family obstacles... yes, I do have a Family ^_^... now I am facing a lot from this category and it really turn down my emotions. haaaiizz... 2 times because the first time is the first realization and the second if I'm not satisfied yet. Like I said, I want it ALL out.

Luckily, my mahal is very supportive... thank you for being responsible, for loving me and understanding every situation that I am being put on... Ur my PERSON.

special thanks also to keneth for being there even just through text I can feel every support that ur giving me ^^


OkAy! enough of the drama...

wonderful day, had a heart to heart chat with che, I really miss her and also anelle two of the most closest friend of mine... Since last sem iI didn't really had enough time to spend with them because all of us were very busy with our studies...

I don't have much friends to count because I'm having difficulty reaching out to others because I'm afraid that they'll misunderstand my intentions and maybe because of a lot of trauma my other ex-friends brought me. Anyway I don't feel bad about that because I treasure each n everyone of them a LOT.

Now, I gaining more of them either of them is true or not I don't care, for me I'll just do my part its for them if they're going to appreciate my efforts or continue to put on masks on their face ^^

School Day Again!

December 12, 2007

Another brand new day for me. When I got up in bed, I think of what this day would offer me? What exact situations will I be put on? Gathered my things and started preparing for school, yes! school duty today which means longer time for discussion. Most of the students find discussions boring and I may not exclude myself, but when I think of many situations in my life that I actually said “If only I had listen...” I usually think of the positive side to motivate myself.

7:30 am ready to go to school because @ exactly 8:00am our school duty will start. Plans for today are drug study reporting, cases reporting, library visit, submission of requirements and quiz. Right there's lot to take for today. I arrived @ school around 7:50am, I bought some snacks to serve as my breakfast because I didn't had one earlier because of the time.

Waited at least an hour for our C.I to arrive, yes she's late but it's okay because it will actually buy us time to do visuals for our reports. We started discussing about our drug studies, and most of the drugs presented was already familiar but some of them put a little more mark on my brain. Some things about the specific drugs which I don't have any idea about. After that we had our 30 items quiz.

Finally lunch time, our C.I provided us 2 hours of break time. When we got back, we had the rest of the plan for today working. We had sharing of experiences some are really funny but I learned from their different experiences shared that happen in our duty days. Some of them are breaking the sterile technique unconsciously, instruments mistaken for another, surgeon's experiences.

From our mistakes gathered, I've learned to put myself in that situation and actually think of possibilities that I should do. At least from what we have experience we were able to reflect to ourselves and formulate reactions to different situations. Our C.I shared her knowledge from our drug discussion until our reporting. She usually adds up information to guide us important things to understand and to help us feed our minds.

Imperfections and mistakes makes us feel that our abilities are not enough but we also have to realize that these also makes up a better person within us.

Frustration

sObrang bUsy Lately, that's why hnd kO naupdate bLog kO last friday and yesterday... haiz! ang yabang yabang kO pa sa previOus blog kO na naOvercome kO na ung fear kO ayun nahilO nanaman akO nung friday... I don't know the reasOn why this kind of tragedy is actually ruining my nursing life!

I don't think na ung blood ung reason kc mahilig pakO manOod ng mga bLoody movies and sinasanay kO sarili kO sa mga ganung bgay through watching C.S.I, Saw, Hostel, mga mOvies na super brutal... Ngyon sikat na sikat nakO sa mga surgeoNs pag nrinig n nila na may nhilO, sasabhn nila "alam ko na si tisay un noh?" yiiihhhh! sobrang nhuhuli nakO sa cases, ang advantage lng sobrang hasa nkO sa scrubbing and gowning dhil lagi ako ngscrscrub ang prob hnd KO ntataPos... help me guys need some advice!

sobrang nakakafrustrate na tong nngyayari sken, I'm thinking na bka anemic akO.. kc dis tym pag tumatagal ung surgery bgla nangangawit na ung paa kO tpos sunod sunod na paakyat ung feeling hnggang sa magblackout na ung paningin kO, tpos pagumupo akO kaagad ngfafade away... kaso panO ko icocontinue ung surgery eh unsterile nkO... haiz! sobrang frustrating, kung ano ano n nga cnsabi ng surgeon like bka daw narape or ntrauma ako nung childhood ko kaya ganun akO... hainaku... lalong hnd nmn ako buntis hahahah

Kahapon naman aun, whole day ksma si mahal dun sa apartment watch ng dvd and kain mode... super borlOg lng hahaha.. enjOy... umuwi akO bahay around 6:30 pm d kO matiis namimiss kO n xa agd sobra.. aun sabi kO sa srili tatpucn kO lng mgagagawin Ko then I'll surprise him! heheheh around 3 am aun sinurprise KO sya ngpunta ako ng apartment... weeeee!

Kanina, ngpunta kami ng arayat, halo-halo ever ang sarap tlga d best halo halO dun and pastillas! wee favorite!!! picture picture dun sa schOoL ng Lola nya hahah... para kming tanga...


ayun msaya nmn weekends super! ayOko ng may pasok wahhahaha!


@all Ragnarokers

senxa na I don't have stuffs to say about my ragna life kc hnd n tlga ako ngoOnLine i have plans pero sobrang busy pa kc sa studies...

SENXA NA KUNG BORING BLOG KO heheheh

If you just look...

"If you just look at all that already exists in your life, all that you already have: unlimited air to breathe, ample lighting to see, music to hear, books to read, stars to dream by, trees to gaze at, floors to dance on, friends to cavort with, enemies to befriend, strangers to meet, woods to walk through, beaches to comb, rocks to scale, rains to cleanse you, rivers to float you, animals to comfort you, you do have to admit, there's more of it than you could ever, ever, ever spend."

You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

December 06, 2007

A sunny afternoon, rushing again to get to school. Fixed my hair in the jeepney to conserve time no wonder some of the commuters were staring at me. Maybe a typical irresponsible student they may think. When I arrived in the school, thank God my Clinical Instructor is just starting to check our paraphernalia. My clock is advanced for about 30 mins. and yet here I am always rushing up! After our C.I completed checking us all we waited for at least 15 mins. until finally all of the groups are finally complete. A 15 mins. drive to the hospital, I'm wishing that there will be cases today because I'm the scrub nurse assigned for the first case. The bus suddenly stopped and I asked my C.I where to proceed, she asked us to directly go to the Operating room so there we go. Surprisingly there were 5 cases for today lucky us! Then I immediately put on my scrub suit and I'm kinda anxious about what's going to happen. I thought I was going to handle the thyroidectomy case but when I finished scrubbing and entered the OR room, the Removal of Implant is the one being prepared.

I really got very nervous. My group mates were very supportive that's why I convinced myself that I should do this and finish this task of mine! Fear will always be there if I'm not going to overcome it. So then I go, I waited for my C.I and when she got in, she assisted me again and guided me in the process. All of the people in that O.R were very supportive. Even the surgeon and the anesthesiologist were teasing me. I'm very much overwhelmed and that motivated me that I can do this work! During the surgery I asked the surgeon for how many months did the implants stayed in the patients right tibia, and he answered me that it was place in year 1997 so I was really amazed it actually stayed there for about ten years! Amazing.

The operation ended good, almost. When I'm trying to put the needle of the cut gut to the needle holder I accidentally cut even the thread. I was so nervous that the surgeon might scold me but luckily he didn't do that. All of the return demos that we previously practiced were very helpful to me. Serving the gloves to the surgeon and gowning. I learned to be more careful inside the O.R and always keep in mind the sterile techniques and how to put the needle to the needle holder properly. I also learned to face my fears in order for me to gain knowledge and add up experiences.

We had our break a little late because a lot of surgery were being performed today and we have designated task to do. When we're done, the other half will have their break also. We temporarily replaced their positions, like monitoring vitals signs and stuffs. When all of the cases were finally finished, our C.I instructed us to get dressed because the school bus is already downstairs.

This day was full of experiences. Different tasks made us responsible enough to handle every appointed work designated to each and everyone of us. I will never complain of being tired because at least I know that I'm capable of doing something.

Rest in Peace

In the great scheme of things, what matters is not how long you live, but why you live, what you stand for, and what you are willing to die for.

Rest in Peace my Auntie Disay... She was rushed in the E.R earlier due to difficulty of breathing, my classmates are the one who attended her needs since we are on duty to that hospital. Sadly, I am assigned in the OR and didn't had the chance to personally assist her. Perhaps God don't want me to witness her sufferings... She was revived by my classmates with the help of the doctor of course. I don't know yet the exact diagnosis but my mother told me that even before she is hypertensive and I think that maybe her kidneys are also starting to fail because of her disease condition because the doctor are advising my aunt already to have sessions of dialysis but she refused.

When we are about to leave the hospital, her condition was somewhat stable but when I got home my mother told me that she received a message from my other aunt that she was already dead... I can't actually believe it at first.. So we went to the hospital to see her again... As I stare at her body covered with a white cloth some memories flashed back into my mind... When I was still a little child my cousins and I usually go in their house and play all day... She also usually call me "not not" awtz...

a little prayer...

Eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

Publish Post

Tiny bits of my precious Life...

Its been more than 20 years since the day I was born in this world, time really runs so fast.. as I look back on the past tiny memories tickled my thoughts...,


As a child, whenever my aunt or other relatives used to ask me what I want to be when I grow up, i don't really know what to tell them I just blankly stare at them because even I can't answer that question to myself... I start to wonder what do I really want to be someday? that question remained unanswered as I grew up...



My father died when I was only six, I can't even remember if I cried or not... I'm an illegitimate child as I may say because my parents are not married and my dad already got his own family before i was born, there are only few but extraordinary memories he had left me... I'm so grateful to him... i know he really cared for me... he left me with such a great future ahead of me and he's one of my greatest motivator... i Love you dad wherever you are... He gave me the nick name "Snow White" because I'm his little princess and my mother love to watch Snow White when I was still in her womb... I'm already @ my 18 when i had the chance to read some of the post cards he used to send me from places he visits or have vacations when I was still a little child...

My mother had his secOnd husband when I was 8 and had my own little brother @ 10... He's already 11 years old now and he's the best lil bro... We're not that close due to the age gap but atleast he's not badly behaved... He follows orders from me ofcorz hahaha! Seriously, he's a gOod brother to me and a son to his parents.. (my mama and step dad)

I was not born on a rich family, where material things suffice one’s caprices, yet I could say that this family, who cared for me, taught me valuable ideals in life and gave most priceless treasures I could ever have, is more enough than what money can every buy in any market in this world. When my family started to feel how difficult life is and started to have problems regarding financial matters, unpaid bills etc... It really affected me, I was only 14 then... that time I started to dream... Dream of a better future for my family, to give what they desire and what they need... to payback for everything that they've done for me and as a sign of my deepest gratitude for such upbringing... My mom let me decide for myself but still with her guidance and knowledge... @ an early age she gave me the opportunity to be independent with every decisions and be responsible for every mistake...

My mother told me that my father wanted one of his daughter to be a Nurse... since my half sister did not pursue nursing and chose her desired course instead, she was not able to fulfill this dream... This gave me the idea to choose the path of being a nurse... and finally answered my childhood question.. In my 3rd year, I almost fail one of my subject... that made me realize that I really want this profession, this is not only for my father and my family but also for myself... not only to earn a good money abroad...(hopefully) I want to touch people lives... I want to be remembered not just a nurse who give patients medicines, dresses their wounds attend to the Doctor's order, but instead someone who touches their lives and souls...

I finally understand why God didn't grant all my prayers and wishes... He wants me to strive more.. to work hard... to print my destiny and write my own fairytale... few months from now I'll start another life in a place that I'm not familiar of... meet new people, new set of friends, new struggles and difficulties... still the same but BETTER me...

Open Mind

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or
catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

-Dawna Markova

Mahal's Upcoming tattOo

Mahal's Upcoming tattoO

Yes mahal, I'm allowing yOu to have anOther tattOo...

When I dreamed of a man to love, of course all of us set our standards and I told my self that I wouldn't commit to those who have tattOos because it looks so dirty and we have this notion or bad impressions to people with such... woah It really amaze me what Love can dO ahahah... it changes our perceptions our beliefs and our set standards in life... I see him as the perfect person to love even with those tattoos on him... He's kinda addicted to it... If ever he will pursue this one, I'll have it posted here... He's planning to put this one back to back with the Geisha... back part of the Lower leg (Gastrocnemius)

Here are my favorites:

06-26-06

Of course because it's our ANNIVERSARY
placed just near his wrist

CHENG

"tang val's art" after our first break up....


R o s e d a l e

the most painful one according to him

Ganesha: Lord of Success

this one had a funny story, he asked me to print this picture because "his" friend would like to have a tattOo of this image, "his friend daw" so I immediately printed the exact picture and after few days I didn't notice that it was on his arms already, he's such an actor! It's already healing when i finally nOticed it... bad boy! hmp!

the Geisha

it reminds me of my pleasures... hahaha its up to you to think what kind of pleasure I'm talking about ^^

Everything

our future daughter's name ^^


Tsunami

I love the colors and the patterns ^^

I'm starting to have thoughts of having one after my graduation... can i bear the pain??? hahaha I'm thinking of what image or pattern would best fit my personality... hahaha.. ASA?!

I have to think a hundred or even a thousand times first wOoot!

SchOOL day...

schOOL schOoL schOOl... 8 hours eeewww 8-5:00pm we had school class instead of having hospital duty today. Fortunately, time runs so fast today that we didn't notice that it's already time to go home... We had activities like Return Demo and Reporting... We also had time for pictorials hahaha...

Kate mhaye me carla and val

Me and Carla

Carla and Coi

nice ^^

Our new classmate RODJ hehehe


Okay whatever hahaha!

What a day huh? ^^

Earthquake Galore

My classmates and I, were waiting for our instructor for our afternoon class, integrating sem. Suddenly we felt like the building is shaking and were on the fifth floor of the building... They keeP on saying "mamayun" which means lumilindoL in kapampangan... at first I was kinda feeling agitated and amazed because it was a long time ago since i felt an earthquake then the feeling turned into fear... fear because What if the earthquake will become much stronger and the building will collapse!!! a lot of thoughts were rushing into my mind! and my mahal is not with me... how about my family? paranoid! oh well then the shaking gradually stopped... what an experience!

I thought the class will be canceled hahaha Ambisyosa! anyways, integrating sem today is quite gOOd because the instructor is such an eyesight, she's so pretty ^^ and smart toO... its just that she actually discussed the topic so fast that's why it's so difficult to absorb everything that she say... but we can't blame her because she has to fit in with the time frame ^^ I remember my first encounter with her, way back she's my C.I in the hospital duty... she's so masungit for me hahaha tinOxic nya q >.<> nmn kc aq whahahah... but earlier, she's so different she even gave us advices and tips for the upcoming board exam and even volunteered to help us if we need some ^^

Change topic! "they" are asking me if I'm going to audition tomorrow for Ms. University, actually even before that i joined Ms. Nursing, i know the rule that if ur going to win the title you have to represent the college for Ms University and NO! i don't want that responsibility and thank God that Ashley deserved the title ^^ at least they can't push me or obligate me to join ehheh ^^ It's not that i don't have the guts or what... i just don't want the pressure anymore besides I already got what I want ^^

BTW. HAPPY BDAY LOKIN ^^

that's all for today ^^ ciao!

Happy Birthday Mahal! and Happy 1 year and 5 months to us!

Yes! 1year and 5 months of relationship wOah!we've been through a lot already and I'm so happythat we're still together.. we've spent our special day watching "ONE MORE CHANCE" I never thought that I can convince him to watch tagalog movies like this one... The movie is gOod.. Kilig MOments... actually some of the parts of the mOvie really hit me... I don't want to go to the details of the story of the movie because maybe some of my blog readers haven't watched it yet ^^... after watching we spend the rest of the day "kulitan MOments sa apArtment" heeheh...


Happy 25th birthday to you Mahal... wee tanda mO na bleh! I'm really thankful that God has sent you in my life... You're such a wonderful person and I'm sO lucky to have you... yOu're a Perfect LOver, sweet, handsome, caring, respOnsible, respects me a lot... you treat me like a PRINCESS... and I know nO one cOUld do the same that you've done for me...

" I needed my freedom
That's what I've thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see"

I chose to leave you before to find myself, and I don't feel sorry for what I did before except for breaking your heart because from that I realized your worth, I realized that no one can replace you in my heart...

Depression

what a duty day, i was the scrub nurse on one of the cases that our group handled today and I'm so excited because it will add up to my majOr cases, i started quite goOd, gOwning, gloving, instruments... I got really nervous because I usually get dizzy whenever the pelvic area, uterus and vagina are the one being operated or repaired... This is one of my luckiest day, my case is something like pelvic repair >.<>

I cried so hard earlier after it happened, because it makes me feel so depressed that I'm having this kind of feeling whenever i have operations to assist... it really makes me feel so bad... i can't control it or even fight it... Whenever it starts to bug me i try to think of other things or i pray to God to help throughout, but of course I also consider the fact that I should be aware of what's happening around me because I have to pass instruments to the surgeons and assist them... Our CI is very supportive and she comforted me and gave me some tips or advices, she's funny and she makes our duty enjOyable, fun but still in the manner that we learn a lot of things from her...

How can I be a successful nurse if I cant even finish the whOle operation without getting dizzy or something, i almost fainted... grrrr! the surgeons are even teasing me about what happened...
I have to do something about it before it will be too late for me... Luckily, i didn't get bored today because we had things to do...

Duty

hmmppp nakakapgod nmn ung duty ngyon sagaran na ang eksena. from 2 to 10 daw pero 1:15pm checking ng paraphernalia tpos by quarter to 2 nsa hospital n kmi, and kahpon super orientation dpa ang eksena, grabe kaupo lng kmi hnggang 9 30, orientation, minus mo dun ung 1 hr total na break at dinner break haaayz nakakinip, pero OR duty kmi today! and sna maraming cases para hnd kami magward at hnd nakakinip mgantay mtapos ang oras!

feeling ko kagabe sobrng pagod na pagod akO na madami akong gnwa pero kung tutuusin halos umupo at nkinig lng kmi for the whole day! grabe super boring... ang daming bwal ang daming bagong rules npaka inconsistent tlga nila >.<>.<

What a Sched?!

hmp... i thought that this semester would be a better one in terms of the scheds and requirements... hmp!

Monday 7:30-11:30 NCM 105 , 1:00-4:00pm Integrating Sem
Tuesday 7:30-11:30 NCM 105, 12:30-4:30pm
Wednesday-Friday 2:00pm to 9:00pm DUTY last rotation will be night shift 11:00pm to 7:00am
Sat-Sunday Review for Board hayyz

anyways konting tiis wala akOng karapatang magreklamO hahahah...

namiss kO mga classmates q infairness hahaha!

-Review MOde-

Iced Coffee Milky Chocolate

weee i don't know exactly what to call this recipe but I originally got this idea from Nescafe's Banana Frost, but since my bOyfriend don't want the banana to be mixed in our iced coffee, I decided not to put some.

Ingredients:

Ice, 2 cups, crushed
2 Tbsp of coffee
2 tbsp of Swissmiss or cocoa (or whatever you prefer)
1/4 cup of COndensed miLk...

if you want to add banana, you can add one...

and of course you need a BLENDER ^^


We occasionally visit a coffee shop near my bf's apartment because they serve yummy iced coffee there, but unfortunately that coffee shop was already closed.

we're not like those rich kids who hang out there every now and then before when it was still open because first of all we're not RICH ahahah... We go there pag trip nmen dalawa and pag super ngcrave kami, coffee lng tlga then aun uwi na dvd and stuffs... Since it's already closed, I suggested that we can still have ice coffee moments in his apartment and i'll personally prepare it. So yesterday, gumawa kmi ng sarili nming iced coffee and it's so delicious!!! prOmise we both have two CUPS (all caps kc big tlga hehe) each hahahah yum yum yum! gumastos lng kmi ng more or less a hundred pesos, tpos kung sa coffee shOp ka like gngwa nmen bfore mas mgastos... ung extra money aun npangbiLi pa nmen ng chips ^^ nice date mahal!

a Rainy Day

When the clouds above me so dark, When the sun is gone away from the site, When the cool breeze touch me softly, When the thunder and lightening make me afraid,Then the rain begin to shower upon me... Raindrops make me coOl and make me feel better, it gives me a sense of relaxation...

How many memories do you have enjOying the Rainy Season? Most of these memories, I believed were from our childhOod days... As a child I love playing with my cousins and playmates under the rain, It doesn't matter how dirty the water that's flowing in in my feet, all I know is I'm having a lot of fun... WE played hide and seek, "tagtagan", "Maro"... games that really made us so happy... no worries...

There's one time, I was only 8 or 9 years old, my cousin Aldrin ask me to go Out and join them play, but my mom told me not to go out because it's raining. So he said he'll go ask my mom if i can go with him and play outside... When he got back he said "pinyagan ka na, tara" i thought he's telling the truth so i leaved the house and im so excited, it's raining really hard and small flood were formed near our street, my crazy cousin told me "tara talon tyo sa baha, dive tyO" and I answered, "ano ka ang dumi kaya dyan oh tgnan mo galing sa imburnal tubig dyan eh..." he replied: "tara na dali bahala ka tataLon nkO" and there he goes... a lot of kids was really enjOying the dirty water as if it was a clean swimming pool.... then i actually dived into the water!!!!!!! yuck as in ! the water was about my shoulder level, I really had fun that time, imagine how dirty the water is! ewwww hahaha that was one of the craziest thing i did in my childhood days... whenever i pass by that street i clearly remembered my jump and the smile in the children faces, our pure minds enjOying life... When I got home my mother was really mad at me!! grrrr my cousin actually bluffed me! hmmmmp!well... a Price to pay ^^

I hear the rain outside, pitter, patter on our roof today. I always love watching the rain fall from the sky... Happy that its raining today, weee a time to sleep, coffee, tv/dvd... a time for relaxation... a time to reminisce gOod memories... but I hate raining when schOOl days are on! waaaa i always mess up my uniform, my shoes are wet...! That's the bad side of raining for me...

For others, rainy days make them feel cold inside, it makes them remember people they love... Rain tends to link to things that are unsettling them. The rain may link to some deeper problem showing that they feel unsettled generally and lacking any direction. WhatEver it is I LOVE THE RAIN!.

SchOoL days Again

haaaiz tomorrow should be our first day of class (duty) but since schedules for hospital duties are not yet posted and arranged, our first day of schOOl for this sem (hopefully my last semester) is moved on monday weee.... a great news for us with schedules of wed to friday duty days because the other sections will start their classes tomorrow (lecture)... I still feel lazy and I'm not ready yet to face another set of sleepless nights, pimples, overtym duties, long periOd of classes...

another thing, my bessy Anelle was not allowed by the coordinators to transfer to our section since our section is already full by the time she enrolled in our class... I never had the chance to be her classmate again after 2nd year.. hmp!

Today, was a very good day for my mahal and me... I am supposed to stay awake until 10am this morning to wait for him until he'll go home from work... but unfortunately, @7:30am i fell asleep... I woke up around 11 30 am and I have received so many messages from him trying to wake me up because I promised that I will go to his apartment and we'll sleep together... I had my lunch but I think that It will be gOOd to surprise him, so I texted him and told that I'll be staying at hOme to rest and my mom didn't give me money, so i can't go out... around 6 pm i finally decided to surprise him and hugged him so tight! I really miss him so much even if were together almost everyday... hahha i LoveshOo mahal... we had crazy moments earlier picture taking and stuffs... anyways that's all for now... kinda sleepy and it's already late bubye!

Another Set of Me (RAGNAROK LIFE)

+*nic0Le*+
my high priestess

I started my ragnarok life when I was @ the end of my 4th year in HS that was year 2004... I don't really find this game interesting at first but since my bOyfriend then used to play this game I started to convince myself to play tOo rather than just sleeping on his side when he's playing overnyt... so I was mesmerized by the purple dresses roaming around prontera, I tOld my ex bf that I want that kind of Job but he hesitated because he told me that wizards are more fun kind of job to play... so her sister and I started to make a magician, he helped me in my career... as i can remember i named that wizard Ms_cute woah hahahah but unfortunately when I reached level 75, my character has been hacked by heartless kids. Good thing is, i finally convinced my boyfriend to let me have a priestess with a pretty long purple dress. I'm thinking what name should I give in my new priestess... my ex bf's character name was LokiN, got from his real name Nikol, so i suggested that it would be sweet if i'll use his name but make it more feminine... then I named her +*nic0Le*+ with lots of design... ^^

I always wanted to be a member of APOCALYPSE, when I first saw their emblem I started asking my boyfriend what level should I have to reach in order for that guild to allow me in... I was only 82 then.... woah... Luckily his sister's boyfriend aifam was one of the members that time and he set an EB here for his bday in pampanga and invited some of the members, as i can remember they were Yeye, agie, DelubyO and his gf Rain... so they said that if I could reach atleast level 89 they will help me to become a member... and i was very excited... until I bacame one of them... Being one of them is a great experience for me, I've met a lot of new friends, the gurls were really gurls! hahaha jen, maclene, rehg and everybody! GD moments at Alde full party...
I stayed as an apocalypse attended EBs with my ex bf, inuman sessions, witnessed PVP monsters... more or less 2 years of fun until I decided to quit because of a lot of reason back then. mY ex bf, my studies etc.

When I came back things became different, Apocalypse was facing a dilemma.. but i don't have any idea what was that about. I sometimes attended siege... Some of my old friends there, were gone, they became busy with their own lives... and the rest was history, I joined Armada bec. of one of my ex, Sustainer bec of my ex toO... in short a certified GUILD HOPPER... hhahaha there's no safe place to be...


+*n!c0Le*+
my Blacksmith

GM of Bratinellas, guild that I established 2 years agO... Guild level: 6.. whahaha
guild for gurls... before, she vend stuffs or other times ngbabasag ng kung ano ano hahahah!

+*Princess_nicole*+

my level 98 merchant,but since I wished to have a Biochem ayun ndemonyO akO, pina alchem KO xa then super boT ever... hanggang sa nging Biochem...

silang 3 ung pinakamdalas kong gamitin bfore, d man cla sikat, malakas or what sobrang namimiss Ko rin n mlarO man lng cla >.<>.<

Continuation.....

FRIENDS, ofcorz

Cendang and Me...
Buratinellas hahahahah

cendang, BLair_0701,Hanny'' are my Real Life friends ever since 5th grade they were the one who contributed much in my teen life, i never imagined that RagnarOk is another world for us friends... SadLy, i never had a lot of time with them oNLine because of my ex bf blah blah... he hates whenever I make "tambay" with them hmP! I call them BURAOTS hahaha ang lakas kc mangburaOt ng mga toh... TRASHTALKERS? weLL sobrang menyak kc ng mga to eh haha nkakahwa minsan I miss the times n mgtritrip kami, hnd kO makakalimutan ung madalas nilang sbhn "k*ntutin kita dyan eh" hahaha prang mga lalake ampf! Kulitan Mode ever... I also remember nung Acolyte plang si tep (BLaiR_0701) we call her muchacha or katulong haha kc ilang months na acolyte pa rin xa sa kakatambay! whahahah eh kami nila dee and @priL` lahat kmi priestess na hehheh... peace tep!

me and Nhezly-edited

one of the sweetest, caring, makulit na guy in prontera.. mas gerL pa character nya kesa sken hahahah! sobrang bait nyan ni idOL... He's surrounded by a lot of friends in ragnarok that became his friends also in Real Life... He knOws how to deal with people especially gurls haha not because kinakacareer nya but he respects girls and treats them well...

Mikai, Jen, Me and Piper


*Kisses*

/lv

The Weddings...

My First Husband -LokiN- aw... (10-26-05)

My 2nd Husband Dward` (01-27-07)

My 3rd and Last Husband, k e r r i g a n (02-20-07)


and nOw I'm happily Divorced and Married in real life by heart with my Mahal...

new here

woah nothing much to say i just want to unemPty my site... it's cOoL that I have a bigger place to shout out my thoughts... another resPonsibility for me woAh hahaha!