Preceptor class

1st day of class finally done! I arrived here at the hotel yesterday afternoon after a long flight from ct, anyway i had to stop at atlanta for 2hrs i was Able to eat popeyes lol n had some cappuccino from seattle's best coffee. We have a great room here at hilton suites and of course free meals. I had a burger on my first night and it was bangin!














Today was are official first day and it was fun, we had games and learned few things, tom should be hectic.. Anyway after class we went to the mall and i went shopping, actually i just wanted a new pair of jeans since for some reason i don't

feel like wearing any of the clothes i packed for this trip... Lol


I met a few friendly filipinos and it was fun hanging out with them..

Arghhh i miss my love and my ps3... Friday please come soon!



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as I get older I realized...

as I get older I realize, i grew up alone. Alone in the sense that I didn't feel like I had any parents, my dad died when i was 6 and my mom wasn't always around. Plus i never get the love that most kids get from their parents, kisses, saying "i love you" or hugs. My mom is the toughest person, it's like i don't know if she's going to say I love you too when i say it. I'm always independent and left alone. I could always say things twice the third time I know I will get yelled at. I would always be left in the house while my mom would gamble. I get the beating when i did something wrong or even when i fell off the bike, i will always be scared to go home if i scraped my knee because I know what exactly my mom would say "that's what you get from playing outside!"

'

I never seen my mom yelled at my little brother the way she yells at me when i was little. It's hard not to compare. 

I'm jealous.

I'm jealous of my classmates or friends that have a strong relationships with their parents. Especially because i only had one growing up. Maybe it's my fault, maybe i could have tried harder.

This feeling got stronger when i went far away. I felt like more of a financial supporter more than a daughter or a sister. I said I would do anything for my family but how can i be so excited to talk to them when all we can talk about is money or how awful life is over there or im not sending enough because of all the bills. Damn, i have bills too and i also get sick but still go to work and push myself so i can send enough. I'm not perfect. I get tired too...

Yeah obviously they depend on me, but can I at least feel that they're trying to survive on their own too? My first 6 months here in the US i worked like a slave, i worked 12 hrs shifts then go work in a laundromat to earn extra money work from 7am to 10pm at night then to come at 6am the next day, washing other people's clothes, mopping the floor... getting yelled at by customers if one of the machines are broken. Getting sick, got kicked out basically asking a friend for a favor so i can have space to sleep. I also do sidelines like massage, sell ensemada or sell eggrolls. Things that I wouldn't imagine myself doing. I was inspired, Everything for family...

Then the lies began, i lost hope. it's like my whole world fell apart.

But what do I expect? I grew up independent. Made my own decisions.

Maybe im just bitter, or maybe i need to balance my life, between work, family, relationship and friends.

Tonight i said some terrible things to her, that i know I will never forgive myself for, but it feels like all this pain is just right here in my heart, from all those years. I think I'm a terrible daughter.

My patients will always tell me, "You're mother raised you very well. She must be very proud of you.." and there's this pinch in my heart. That I know deep inside me I don't deserve those words.

Now, after i wrote this blog i feel so much better...

Hmmmmargarita <3

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21days to make it a habit

Well research says it takes 21 days to form a habit, that means 21 days of waking up early, 21 days of going to gym, 21 days of drinking 2liters of water a day and so on and so forth whatever habit you want to make.

At the beginning of the year i talked about blogging everyday and i don't think i made it to the 21st day lol straight without missing a day, it's only march and i almost missed the whole month without blogging at all, and ive been doing fun stuffs lately which i didn't even talked about here...

It's like it's more easier and quicker to upload pictures that actually go through all the little details of the day. I just feel like it's nice to go back to some days where you ask yourself "where did my weekend go?" or how well did my month of february went? Something like that, i want to try harder but i'm just plain lazy, i think that one i mastered as a habit lol

Anyway ive been doing lots of fun stuffs for the past week,

Mar2: Ate maryann's surprise bday cake,
wall of fame activity at work

Mar4: went grocery shopping at adong then after that we went to try out pinkberry's yogurt <3 then when we got home, played mw3 with bunch of filipino! Super fun!

Mar7: bheb bought me a big teddy bear <3
Mar9: dinner at Texas roadhouse
Then mar10: we went to foxwoods with ate ta her husband, sis nd bro in law and me love, so much fun! Tho i lost $40 playing slot machines hmmmpp but it was all worthi it coz we watched the jokoy's show, he's a half filipino comedian, very funny And i we all enjoyed his show worth every buck,! Best part? Kuya joe bought us tickets, how cool is that?

then Mar11 flight to texas for davita university! Such a fun company trip i can say i am definitely lucky to work in such a great company!

Then mar17 went out to bbc to see kyle before he leaves to go to cali...

So far my month is great, been working extra hours to make up for expenses lol
Til then :) ill update this blog with pics <3

-Don’t ever regret anything, because at one point it was exactly what you wanted.

Free stuffs

hell yeah bought foundation and i got lots of gifts!
Love this product :) <3


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Great weekend!

wow im ashamed that i haven't been able to blog the past days and ofcourse my usual excuse is work! ahhaah too tired that i don't have enough time to write a quick blog just before i go to bed, anyway i had a good weekend. unexpected snow friday morning that made me late to work because of all the snow i need to brush off my car, hmmppp then we had one call out and one tech was late an hour... the whole day was stressful as usual, still under training for charge nurse and so far im catching up gets a little less stressful each day.

after i got out of work we went out to a bar at hartford call sidewalk cafe for brian's going away goodluck celebration, they serve good food and alcohol. We waited for an hour before everybody finally showed up i had 3 malibu bay breeze and oh that made me soooo tipsy... it's just sad that we're letting go of one of our good ones...

so even our Clinical coordinator showed up which was really a surprise, she's been helping me out with my charge nurse duties and i thank God that she's there to at least guide me :)

 Varsenik and hubby

 The couple

 Brothers

 Me, michelle varsenik and kateryna

then yesterday, me and bheb went to go grocery shopping and brought ella for her maintenance appointment which cost me a lot! hmmmppp!

Then we went out with chris, chelsea and derek to bbc we had a great night i got drunk again of course :)

and finally this morning i made breakfast for my bheb <3

yes or no?

Insert caption

ahhhh i had a great week :) @ work and home... so im lazy to blog right now so ill post all the pics then I'll insert captions when i get back to it maybe tom :)