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True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

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Thursday, December 6, 2007


You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie


December 06, 2007

A sunny afternoon, rushing again to get to school. Fixed my hair in the jeepney to conserve time no wonder some of the commuters were staring at me. Maybe a typical irresponsible student they may think. When I arrived in the school, thank God my Clinical Instructor is just starting to check our paraphernalia. My clock is advanced for about 30 mins. and yet here I am always rushing up! After our C.I completed checking us all we waited for at least 15 mins. until finally all of the groups are finally complete. A 15 mins. drive to the hospital, I'm wishing that there will be cases today because I'm the scrub nurse assigned for the first case. The bus suddenly stopped and I asked my C.I where to proceed, she asked us to directly go to the Operating room so there we go. Surprisingly there were 5 cases for today lucky us! Then I immediately put on my scrub suit and I'm kinda anxious about what's going to happen. I thought I was going to handle the thyroidectomy case but when I finished scrubbing and entered the OR room, the Removal of Implant is the one being prepared.


I really got very nervous. My group mates were very supportive that's why I convinced myself that I should do this and finish this task of mine! Fear will always be there if I'm not going to overcome it. So then I go, I waited for my C.I and when she got in, she assisted me again and guided me in the process. All of the people in that O.R were very supportive. Even the surgeon and the anesthesiologist were teasing me. I'm very much overwhelmed and that motivated me that I can do this work! During the surgery I asked the surgeon for how many months did the implants stayed in the patients right tibia, and he answered me that it was place in year 1997 so I was really amazed it actually stayed there for about ten years! Amazing.


The operation ended good, almost. When I'm trying to put the needle of the cut gut to the needle holder I accidentally cut even the thread. I was so nervous that the surgeon might scold me but luckily he didn't do that. All of the return demos that we previously practiced were very helpful to me. Serving the gloves to the surgeon and gowning. I learned to be more careful inside the O.R and always keep in mind the sterile techniques and how to put the needle to the needle holder properly. I also learned to face my fears in order for me to gain knowledge and add up experiences.


We had our break a little late because a lot of surgery were being performed today and we have designated task to do. When we're done, the other half will have their break also. We temporarily replaced their positions, like monitoring vitals signs and stuffs. When all of the cases were finally finished, our C.I instructed us to get dressed because the school bus is already downstairs.


This day was full of experiences. Different tasks made us responsible enough to handle every appointed work designated to each and everyone of us. I will never complain of being tired because at least I know that I'm capable of doing something.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Rest in Peace

In the great scheme of things, what matters is not how long you live, but why you live, what you stand for, and what you are willing to die for.
Rest in Peace my Auntie Disay... She was rushed in the E.R earlier due to difficulty of breathing, my classmates are the one who attended her needs since we are on duty to that hospital. Sadly, I am assigned in the OR and didn't had the chance to personally assist her. Perhaps God don't want me to witness her sufferings... She was revived by my classmates with the help of the doctor of course. I don't know yet the exact diagnosis but my mother told me that even before she is hypertensive and I think that maybe her kidneys are also starting to fail because of her disease condition because the doctor are advising my aunt already to have sessions of dialysis but she refused.

When we are about to leave the hospital, her condition was somewhat stable but when I got home my mother told me that she received a message from my other aunt that she was already dead... I can't actually believe it at first.. So we went to the hospital to see her again... As I stare at her body covered with a white cloth some memories flashed back into my mind... When I was still a little child my cousins and I usually go in their house and play all day... She also usually call me "not not" awtz...

a little prayer...

Eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.
Publish Post

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Tiny bits of my precious Life...


Its been more than 20 years since the day I was born in this world, time really runs so fast.. as I look back on the past tiny memories tickled my thoughts...,


As a child, whenever my aunt or other relatives used to ask me what I want to be when I grow up, i don't really know what to tell them I just blankly stare at them because even I can't answer that question to myself... I start to wonder what do I really want to be someday? that question remained unanswered as I grew up...



My father died when I was only six, I can't even remember if I cried or not... I'm an illegitimate child as I may say because my parents are not married and my dad already got his own family before i was born, there are only few but extraordinary memories he had left me... I'm so grateful to him... i know he really cared for me... he left me with such a great future ahead of me and he's one of my greatest motivator... i Love you dad wherever you are... He gave me the nick name "Snow White" because I'm his little princess and my mother love to watch Snow White when I was still in her womb... I'm already @ my 18 when i had the chance to read some of the post cards he used to send me from places he visits or have vacations when I was still a little child...

My mother had his secOnd husband when I was 8 and had my own little brother @ 10... He's already 11 years old now and he's the best lil bro... We're not that close due to the age gap but atleast he's not badly behaved... He follows orders from me ofcorz hahaha! Seriously, he's a gOod brother to me and a son to his parents.. (my mama and step dad)

I was not born on a rich family, where material things suffice one’s caprices, yet I could say that this family, who cared for me, taught me valuable ideals in life and gave most priceless treasures I could ever have, is more enough than what money can every buy in any market in this world. When my family started to feel how difficult life is and started to have problems regarding financial matters, unpaid bills etc... It really affected me, I was only 14 then... that time I started to dream... Dream of a better future for my family, to give what they desire and what they need... to payback for everything that they've done for me and as a sign of my deepest gratitude for such upbringing... My mom let me decide for myself but still with her guidance and knowledge... @ an early age she gave me the opportunity to be independent with every decisions and be responsible for every mistake...

My mother told me that my father wanted one of his daughter to be a Nurse... since my half sister did not pursue nursing and chose her desired course instead, she was not able to fulfill this dream... This gave me the idea to choose the path of being a nurse... and finally answered my childhood question.. In my 3rd year, I almost fail one of my subject... that made me realize that I really want this profession, this is not only for my father and my family but also for myself... not only to earn a good money abroad...(hopefully) I want to touch people lives... I want to be remembered not just a nurse who give patients medicines, dresses their wounds attend to the Doctor's order, but instead someone who touches their lives and souls...

I finally understand why God didn't grant all my prayers and wishes... He wants me to strive more.. to work hard... to print my destiny and write my own fairytale... few months from now I'll start another life in a place that I'm not familiar of... meet new people, new set of friends, new struggles and difficulties... still the same but BETTER me...










Monday, December 3, 2007

Open Mind

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or
catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."


-Dawna Markova

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Mahal's Upcoming tattOo


Mahal's Upcoming tattoO

Yes mahal, I'm allowing yOu to have anOther tattOo...

When I dreamed of a man to love, of course all of us set our standards and I told my self that I wouldn't commit to those who have tattOos because it looks so dirty and we have this notion or bad impressions to people with such... woah It really amaze me what Love can dO ahahah... it changes our perceptions our beliefs and our set standards in life... I see him as the perfect person to love even with those tattoos on him... He's kinda addicted to it... If ever he will pursue this one, I'll have it posted here... He's planning to put this one back to back with the Geisha... back part of the Lower leg (Gastrocnemius)

Here are my favorites:

06-26-06

Of course because it's our ANNIVERSARY
placed just near his wrist

CHENG

"tang val's art" after our first break up....



R o s e d a l e

the most painful one according to him

Ganesha: Lord of Success

this one had a funny story, he asked me to print this picture because "his" friend would like to have a tattOo of this image, "his friend daw" so I immediately printed the exact picture and after few days I didn't notice that it was on his arms already, he's such an actor! It's already healing when i finally nOticed it... bad boy! hmp!

the Geisha

it reminds me of my pleasures... hahaha its up to you to think what kind of pleasure I'm talking about ^^


Everything

our future daughter's name ^^


Tsunami

I love the colors and the patterns ^^

I'm starting to have thoughts of having one after my graduation... can i bear the pain??? hahaha I'm thinking of what image or pattern would best fit my personality... hahaha.. ASA?!

I have to think a hundred or even a thousand times first wOoot!


SchOOL day...

schOOL schOoL schOOl... 8 hours eeewww 8-5:00pm we had school class instead of having hospital duty today. Fortunately, time runs so fast today that we didn't notice that it's already time to go home... We had activities like Return Demo and Reporting... We also had time for pictorials hahaha...


Kate mhaye me carla and val


Me and Carla

Carla and Coi

nice ^^

Our new classmate RODJ hehehe


Okay whatever hahaha!

What a day huh? ^^

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Earthquake Galore



My classmates and I, were waiting for our instructor for our afternoon class, integrating sem. Suddenly we felt like the building is shaking and were on the fifth floor of the building... They keeP on saying "mamayun" which means lumilindoL in kapampangan... at first I was kinda feeling agitated and amazed because it was a long time ago since i felt an earthquake then the feeling turned into fear... fear because What if the earthquake will become much stronger and the building will collapse!!! a lot of thoughts were rushing into my mind! and my mahal is not with me... how about my family? paranoid! oh well then the shaking gradually stopped... what an experience!

I thought the class will be canceled hahaha Ambisyosa! anyways, integrating sem today is quite gOOd because the instructor is such an eyesight, she's so pretty ^^ and smart toO... its just that she actually discussed the topic so fast that's why it's so difficult to absorb everything that she say... but we can't blame her because she has to fit in with the time frame ^^ I remember my first encounter with her, way back she's my C.I in the hospital duty... she's so masungit for me hahaha tinOxic nya q >.<> nmn kc aq whahahah... but earlier, she's so different she even gave us advices and tips for the upcoming board exam and even volunteered to help us if we need some ^^

Change topic! "they" are asking me if I'm going to audition tomorrow for Ms. University, actually even before that i joined Ms. Nursing, i know the rule that if ur going to win the title you have to represent the college for Ms University and NO! i don't want that responsibility and thank God that Ashley deserved the title ^^ at least they can't push me or obligate me to join ehheh ^^ It's not that i don't have the guts or what... i just don't want the pressure anymore besides I already got what I want ^^

BTW. HAPPY BDAY LOKIN ^^

that's all for today ^^ ciao!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Happy Birthday Mahal! and Happy 1 year and 5 months to us!






Yes! 1year and 5 months of relationship wOah!we've been through a lot already and I'm so happythat we're still together.. we've spent our special day watching "ONE MORE CHANCE" I never thought that I can convince him to watch tagalog movies like this one... The movie is gOod.. Kilig MOments... actually some of the parts of the mOvie really hit me... I don't want to go to the details of the story of the movie because maybe some of my blog readers haven't watched it yet ^^... after watching we spend the rest of the day "kulitan MOments sa apArtment" heeheh...


Happy 25th birthday to you Mahal... wee tanda mO na bleh! I'm really thankful that God has sent you in my life... You're such a wonderful person and I'm sO lucky to have you... yOu're a Perfect LOver, sweet, handsome, caring, respOnsible, respects me a lot... you treat me like a PRINCESS... and I know nO one cOUld do the same that you've done for me...

" I needed my freedom
That's what I've thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see"

I chose to leave you before to find myself, and I don't feel sorry for what I did before except for breaking your heart because from that I realized your worth, I realized that no one can replace you in my heart...

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