A poem

My feelings of loving you,
My feelings of wanting you,
My feelings of needing you,
When I look at the sky,
and I wonder why,
It had to be YOU.

Prodigal Daughter

I was so stupid to tell her bad things and not recognizing all the efforts she made to make my life worth living. and for my existence I owe it partly to her but still made her feel that all of that is not enough to forgive her weakness. This is the time that she needs me the most and I didn't even try to understand her side. Am I that bad? I just realized things will go wrong sometimes but even a single reason to make things better will be very helpful. Now I can't bring those words back I already made a deep scratch in her heart and Lord I'm sorry. That is never acceptable and it's not gonna be. I hope things will be better. Better everyday.

Me. and the very unexpected problem.

I never thought this can happen to me or even imagined I will encounter this problem. It hurts so bad when the people you love the most are the one who's getting hurt. I can't do anything but support whatever decision they make. I thought these things only happens in movies or drama series. I don't expect things will happen this way. Maybe in some way this happened because I was not with them. or I don't even know If I could prevented it from happening. All I know is she's hurting so bad and I'm not there to understand why it happened. I'm so far thinking everything's okay back home not thinking of the bad things that may happen. I can't say exactly what happen to you guys. Maybe this is just one thing I'll keep to myself. The only thing I can share with you guys is that I feel so bad and I don't even know what to do or what to feel. She said it's okay. It's not OKAY and it's never OKAY.

I don't know why people get so blinded by love that they don't realize how wrong things are. I loved a person so much before that I, myself experienced the same thing but I didn't realized that it will double the pain if the one who's experiencing is the person you love.

Lord, I'm Sorry.

This is not my usual everyday blog would talk about but yeah I remember when I was still a child I was very religious (Lol) and I always attend mass every sunday or saturday maybe because we live like 7 houses from Church. Read the Novena, Joined the choir (lol haha bata pko nun eh) always attend different events like "Flores De Mayo" which my cousin got her scar on the hand because we're playing "tag" inside the church, it was break time from our bible study and I accidentaly hit the big pot of very hot arrozcaldo towards gemoy and she burned her hand. (SORRY GEMOY!)

A lot of stuffs. My mind was so pure hahah lol and It's funny because sometimes you want to attend the mass because you have a new dress and you want to wear them. I am considered lucky to know God and His presence in my early age. Nowadays, I know a lot of kids that they don't even know who is Papa Jesus... and these kids are Baptised Catholics/Christians.

I am thankful and I will always be thankful for everything.

I've been here for 6 months and I never had the chance to go to a mass. (Once, but that was Uncle Tim's Burial) or maybe I am too busy of much less important things that I didn't even bother to make time. Hope I could get a chance next Sunday and I hope my sunday review won't start that day. Yeah... Bad very Bad... T_T

The Addiction To Online Shopping: I WORK HARD Therefore I SHOP HARD!

I was cleaning my room earlier today to get rid of those things in my room that I don't need and I planned to buy a new comforter since I got tired of washing this big comforter every now and then so I have other choices hahaha and I got tired of the old design lol I want something new. But unfortunately the mall closed early today so we just ate snack and had coffee at panera bread, had a little shopping then went home. Okay so back to cleaning... I was reaching something at the top of my cabinet then when I pulled this paper bag hanging oh my gosh,, all those Boxes fell! I didn't realize it was that much hahahah! i used to clean it before and those boxes keep on falling and sometimes I hide them on the other room! hahaha

Ate mhel knows how I got addicted to this online shopping thing... so she always remind me to save... but since there's no time to go to mall sometimes what temps me is when I go to this online stores and when they notify me through emails that they have 80% sale or whatever... damn cant help myself! especially when the things I want is what on sale.


That's why until now I can't buy the laptop that I want because I keep on spending and spending and spending... and when I tried to arranged the clothes in my cabinet... almost all of my dress and clothes still got tags on them... why? I can't wear them haaha it's like the event should be very special before I would wear them. Crazy huh?

"Naku, 6 months k palang d2 andami n ng box n yan." Everytime those boxes arrived ate mhel always tells me.. "AKALA KO BA LAST NA YUN? BAKIT MERON NANAMAN?" hahahah well.

Maybe that's because that's the only super flash happiness I can get. I mean yeah... it gives you happiness for a moment but sometimes when you dont have someone to share it with it's like after all the spending it's not worth it? but I still do it. It makes me think of working more harder...

but now I need to slow down.. it's too much.. I don't have the right yet to spend and spend hahaha lol... well I'll try to! but I will not promise anything...

Meet "PUSO"

This is a very special Valentines Gift that I received (note: I appreciate all the gift and efforts). The Gift of Life! hehehe I never took care of any plant before and I'm scared to mess up with this one. My kuya got Green Thumb but I don't know yet if I have that kind of Gift. It's an ANTHURIUM can also be called "Flamingo Flower" or "Boy Flower". My kuya Mike gave it to me. I don't know but this is a very unexpected gift and I like it! I mean instead receiving dead roses... hehehe

Well I'll try my best to take good care of this one...

BTW...

Bob is leaving me for a couple of days or weeks, He needs to be fixed because the lens keeps on falling I don't know why... so I called Nikon tech support and they told me to bring my camera to where I bought it but Circuit City is closing so there I need to mail bob back to Nikon for them to fix him T_T... Sounds crazy but yeah i treat this gadgets of mine as treasures and they are my only pleasure (it rhymes). So yeah. but after the hockey game! hehehe So far so good...

Now I'm one step closer.

I really need to start focusing on my studies and read or much better finish my books... damn. I don't know why I feel so lazy and I don't know where to start...

Today I went to my make up class, and it was fun! I mean the instructor is really nice and compared to the previous one I can see the effort she's making to help us understand the concepts that she's trying to show. She made me introduced myself and so I did, I was surprised to myself that I was able to stand up and actually talk in front without feeling nervous or what hahah... everybody was nice.

One thing I noticed with the class is they tend to question the question. I mean yeah if you know something might as well say something about it but these practice questions that they're showing us undergo a lot of research and instead of questioning the credibility why not just find the reason why the ANSWER is the ANSWER.

I guess my advantage was I started this slight review of mine months ago, where I experienced the same thing like I was wondering why that is the answer when it's not even connected hahaha NCLEX is really crazy and you really need to look deeply and understand the choices.

I know i don't have the right yet to advice about this NCLEX thing but to my fellow batchmates or nursing students who are planning to take the NCLEX, might as well start reading your books now, and I recommend that you read the KAPLAN STRATEGIES then SAUNDERS BOOKS. Perfect combination.

To those who just graduated and just took the board. Start applying for ur NCLEX now if you're planning to go here and don't take a break yet... ^_^

ciaO!