A feeling or spell of dismally low spirits

cold evening. hot chocolate. empty heart.

it's getting colder day by day... everything seems to be plain. My escape? work. Few more paychecks then I'm gonna slow down, need more time to focus reviewing cause honestly after my work i don't have enought energy anymore to read my books. I'm planning (again planning) to enroll for a very expensive review course but I don't know yet if I can come up with the money soon. I am hoping i could enroll for the class starting Nov. 3.

Thank God the first step is finally over and done! Collected the money needed for application, fill up the application and my cousin will mail it tomorrow! wooottt.. One step at a time! when I'm losing hope about all of this NCLEX thing i usually visit one forum which some of the NCLEX RN passers and takers usually share their experiences and advices about the whole exam and ofcourse the test of Trust! always remember that Ms. pickering! hahahah God will always be here for me no matter what!

--CRAZY

i just want to share my experience guys, hahaha i was having my break time one day at my part time job, i was sitting @ the counter and one of the customer was standing nearby, as i opened my bag I saw the ensemada I prepared earlier, i was thinking if I'm gonna eat it or save it for lunch since I don't know yet if somebody will bring me food. Then I chose to eat it since im really hungry that time, We filipinos usually offer food to anybody when we're eating you know that's our culture, so I asked this man, "You want some?" and to my surprise he actually walked towards me and pinch a part of my bread. Hahahha i was like @_@ okay... It just surprised me that he doesnt even know me but he didn't even hesitate to actually go over me and pinch a part. It's not a big deal though. Sometimes i just forget that I'm in a different world now. hahahah

a thousand dollars away from home

hmmm, yeah i keep on writing blogs about me being so lonely here lol but this is one way for me to lighten up loads inside me. Until now my application for NCLEX is not yet done coz i just found out that i need to have a certification for child abuse thing attached to my application for them to process it. Whatever I'll just take the online course for that.

Well, fall is coming and it's getting a little colder everyday... can't wait to see the color of the leaves change. 2 more months then this place will become a little more like home coz my cuz is coming here. (makikita mo na rin ang hinahanap mo hahahaha) Finally 2 more months then I'll be 21. Which means i can legally drink alcohol. We're planning to have a small party and since I didnt celebrate my debut we will make my 21st birthday to be something special. I'll have my "21 shots" (21 shots of tequilla) instead of having 21 roses. Or it could be better if I'll have 21 shots and roses? ahahahah lol really excited for that part. (Ang kapal eh 1 shot palng tulog nq 21 pa kaya???)

2 more months then I'll actually see snow falling from the sky. hahaha. It just bothers me coz I can't really stand cold weathers or temperature.

My recruiter for USAF emailed me last 2 days saying he already got me a job in the airforce. And I'll be leaving for basic training on Dec. 16. My heartbeat starts to beat so fast and i suddenly became really anxious. I am starting to make another pathway to better my life and make things easy for me. Now I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want anymore. Anyway I'll figure it out.

Frozen

Wasted. I'm super tired but still i have to wake up early tomorrow! another brand new day, I need time to fix all the things i need for my application, I just found out that I need to train first for Child Abuse chuvaness for NY. hmmmm well I'll just probably take the online course. Last night I was so exhausted, when I got home I just went right to bed and sleep.

The hardest part in my job is when the machine f***ed up! coz we need to stop sorting and wait for jobs to run! as in like standing for long time doing nothing. Time runs so slow now! grrrrrr but it's okey. My escape is day dreaming! hahahaha dreaming I'm finally home for vacation, ahahaha surprise my friends! my family.

I'm feeling depressed again and cried for couple of times. I really miss everyone and everything hahaha. It's just so different here. SO DIFFERENT.

Anyways i need to go to bed now and have a goodnight sleep!

the Fruit of my labor hahahaha

Well, hmmmmm ano bang mga nangyari? hahaha ang good news is nareceive ko na FIRST Paycheck ko for the week last saturday.

Hanep sa tax hahaah! ayan nireveal ko na wala ng secret secret, maganda lng every week kang sumasahod hehehe! dun sa isang job ko by this friday naman pangbayad ko ng aking CGFNS!!! Yup 2 jobs ako. weee haaaiizzz one step @ a time, working monday to Sunday 12hours, 15 hours, 8 hours hahahha iba iba.. well sympre mabuti akong anak kaya ang aking first paycheck eh mapupunta sa pilipinas mgaabono pako pambayad sa western. hheheh! masarap lng feeling na nakaktulong nq un ung pinaka rewarding saken...

sabi ko pa naman dati nung college days pa ung first paycheck ko saken lng ipang shoshopping ko hahah hnd nmn nngyari! hahahah mgiiba rin pala mga plans mo. Well ayun grabe pala tlga pag pinaghirpan mo n ung pera ni ayaw mong gastusin at galawin! hahaha sobrang mega tipid to death nq no more shopping shopping! hahahaha... so ayun pasok nq sa work next time nq mgkwento ng marami! babush!

The test of TRUST

e2 nanaman tumataas ang anxiety level kO... everytime na mangyayari to iisa lng ang sinsaksak ko sa kokote ko ung sinabi saken ni Grace atfer namen magexam sa airforce.

Grace: Alam mo ba cheng kanina nung lumabas ako tpos nagCR ako dba nung exam? tnanong ko si God sa prayer ko sabi ko Lord Kumusta na po ung test ko tpos parang bglang may pumasok na sagot sa isip ko na sabi ni God "ano bang test ang tinutukoy mo?" then dun ko naisip na higit sa lahat ng test na pngdadaanan naten sa buhay ang pinakaimporte, the TEST of TRUST naten kay Lord...

(medyo d q na alam exct words na sinabi nya pero malapit n d2)

Kumabaga un mga test lng yan simpleng exam meron pang mas mahahalagang bagay sa buhay nten ang dapt nating alalahanin...

Ang pinaka mainam kong gawin magreview ng magreview then bahala na si God sa akin ^_^


@ Work!

Today nagstart ang mahiwaga kong 12 hour shift ayun nasugat ung kmay ko and ngkapasa ng maliliit kc tumatama sa mga tray ng mails... ayun! pero ayus lng keri pa rin ang beauty! hahahah kahit pala anong gawin ko at kahit nasaang lupalop ako ng mundo ako pa rin si AKO hahah... BALIW pa rin po ako. hahhahaha naaaning mga ka Work ko saken medyo knakabahn n nga ako kc baka akala nila praning tlga ako! hahahah... pero okay lng atleast sbi naman nila lagi daw mataas ung energy powers ko and ayun bkit lagi daw ako masaya at nakatrip! hahaha sympre ikaw ba naman paminsan minsan lng mkakita ng ibang tao d k sasaya? ahahaha...

Ayun I was asking my new co workers kung anong pinagkakakabalahan nila d2 sa CT tpos un nga ngjajackass nlng daw sila sa sobrang kaboringan hahahaha... well so far kasundo ko naman si mamita, sean and mr vypro! hahahaah well ayun ako'y matutulog na dahil may pasok pko ng maaga tom! babush!

Responsibility

well i opened my own bank account yesterday! weeeee i have a bank account in the philippines but my mom used to arrange all the papers for me and never did I experience to actually do it by myself and it's something really new to me! hahahahha It's true that once you earn your own money it's kinda more difficult for you to spend it coz you really worked hard for it... Finally, I have my own debit card weee but im still waitng for the bank to mail it to me... we also went to chuck e cheese yesterday to treat the kids then after that went to red robin to have our lunch!

I'm planning to shop online and buy a book coz it's much cheaper on ebay but until now i can't confirm my paypal account coz it will take 3 to 5 business days for my bank account to receive the deposit amounts that paypal sent. well maybe im just gonna buy my book on barnes and nobles anyway i found some coupons online that will give me 15% off in a single item purchase...

Well today is my last day off, another 12hours shift tomorrow until saturday! and ate mhel and i need to produce 10 dozens of ensemada until friday because there's a lot of orders calling her wooootttt...

Shopping is really addicting! hmmmmppppp but thank God im back to normal, controlling myself to not spend my money hahha! well maybe because back in the phillippines i will not even dare to buy expensive stuffs coz at first I cant afford it second, i don't really need it. Well back to my own self again hahah. Enough of the caprichos hahahah..

Well it's getting really cold here!!! fall is coming.. can't wait to see the leaves of the trees turn to different colors!!! But dont worry guys im still taking a bath everyday! hahahahah

Tired, had fun, discovery

well after 20 years of my life ngayon ko lng nalaman na half filipino half irish pala ako! hahahaha not really a big thing but it's nice to know...

ayun super mega pagod ako today! haaaiizzz pero okay lng masaya p rin ang life! hehehe woooootttt! at nababadtrip aq sa mga paninda d2 hmmm HAIRPIN $2???? hairpin???? hahhahaha 10 pieces na hairpin 2 dollars? hainaku! hahahahah!

ayun lumabas kami ulit ni kuya kumain sa labas with ate anna and bella...!

excited nq for next week kc madadalaw ko n rin grave ni daddy... weeeee!